Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays it is seen that lifespan elderly is remarkably increased. Thus there exist a section of people argues that increased life expectancy of older citizens is a burden to the government. Whereas another domain believes that elderly people contribute immense advantages to the society.

The major benefit because of the senior citizens is that the reformation of society can be implemented with the guidance of elderly people. The knowledge which they gained through years of life experience is the one in which we can't get from any textbooks. Moreover, in this contemporary society the culture uphold by the elderly people pave light to the traditions and beliefs without completely extinct from this society. A best example for this is festivals celebrated today is under the guidance of elderly people by performing conventional practices which are merely know by the young generations exists even today only people that elderly people.

In spite of that, excessive increase in the number of senior citizens also after the population rate of the country. In addition to that the government is forced to spend a enormous amount for the wellbeing of this section also affect the economic balance of the country. On top of that, growth in the number of old age homes and rehabilitation centers tremendous issue which is difficult to fix as it need financial and human support which cannot be ignored.

In conclusion, even though elderly people plays a massive role in the society who are beneficiary to the society, the cons due the exceptional growth of populational negatively affect the stability of sustainable functioning of the government.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, discussing the problems and benefits of an aging population and providing a clear position that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. Ideas are relevant, such as the transmission of culture and wisdom versus economic burdens and increased need for elder care facilities. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited and occasionally hampered by unclear expression, such as 'lifespan elderly is remarkably increased' in the introduction. The body paragraphs attempt to extend arguments regarding cultural preservation and economic strain, but lack fully realized examples. Overall, the response fulfills the basic requirements of Task Response, leaning towards a Band 6.0 performance due to the tendency for ideas to be under-developed and phrasing to be imprecise.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, showing an overall awareness of paragraphing. However, logical progression is frequently disrupted by awkward transitions and confusing sentence structures. For instance, transitional phrases like 'In spite of that' and 'On top of that' are used, but the internal cohesion within sentences is weak, particularly in the second body paragraph ('also after the population rate of the country'). Referencing is sometimes unclear, and cohesive devices are occasionally mechanical or inaccurate, resulting in a somewhat disjointed reading experience. This aligns closely with the Band 5.0 descriptors, where some organization is present, but progression and cohesion are flawed.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The lexical resource is limited and displays noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and word formation. Examples include 'lifespan elderly is remarkably increased', 'merely know by the young generations', and 'populational'. The student attempts less common vocabulary items like 'rehabilitation centers', 'sustainable functioning', and 'contemporary society', but these attempts are often accompanied by inaccuracies that impede smooth reading and cause some difficulty for the reader. While the vocabulary is adequate to convey a basic message, the frequent lexical errors restrict the score to a Band 5.0, reflecting a limited range and noticeable mistakes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but attempts at complex structures are frequently faulty. There are persistent grammatical and punctuation errors throughout the essay. Examples of errors include subject-verb agreement and structural fragmentation, such as 'Thus there exist a section of people argues that...', 'festivals celebrated today is under the guidance...', and 'the cons due the exceptional growth of populational negatively affect...'. These errors are frequent and often cause difficulty for the reader, obscuring meaning in several places. Consequently, the grammar aligns with the Band 5.0 descriptor, where frequent errors persist and complex structures lack accuracy.

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