Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the contemporary era, this issue has raised a serious debate among the public. Where critcs say older population creates a serious problem for government as people living longer life than even before. Other people argue that it has beneficial effects on society. Although, it raises finacial burden on government, I firmly believe it is more advantageous for a peaceful society.

On the one hand, people modify their livelihood and tends to living longer life so it exerts pressure on the the Government's treasury. Rather than building infrastructure and educational institutes they spend more money on the health facilities of the senior citizens. In Japan, for example, the ruling regime spend 45-50% of the budgets to facilitates their older masses by providing free medicines and insurances. However, it puts burden on the Government treasury, whole life they paid taxes to avail these opportunities.

On the other hands, older people plays pivotal role to reshape the society. They provides guidance, assistance and emotional supports to younger generations, also share their personal experiences to youth that helps the younger individuals to take right path in their life and become successful. Moreover, they emotionally supports younger people when they feel their children are struggling in their life or find out their offsprings are depressed. In addition to this, in the fast pace life where both parents are working to meet their ends having senior citizen in home is one of the greatest blessing they raise their kids and make a good and the responsible citizens of the society.

To conclude, Although, it require money to serve senior members of society, older people plays prominent role to reshape the country by sharing their experience, assistance and guidance to the youth.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the disadvantages, such as the financial burden on governments, and the advantages, such as providing guidance and support to the younger generation. A clear position is presented in the introduction ('I firmly believe it is more advantageous for a peaceful society') and maintained throughout the essay. The ideas are extended and supported with relevant examples, such as the reference to Japan spending on healthcare. However, some arguments, particularly regarding emotional support, tend to be slightly repetitive and could have been developed with more diverse points or academic depth. This places the performance firmly at Band 6.5, leaning towards Band 7 for its clear stance and coverage.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay presents a clear overall arrangement with an introduction, distinct body paragraphs for opposing views, and a conclusion. Logical progression is generally maintained using transition signals such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hands', and 'To conclude'. However, paragraphing and referencing show some mechanical flaws and minor errors, such as 'On the other hands' instead of 'On the other hand'. Furthermore, cohesion within sentences occasionally falters, leading to run-on structures where punctuation is lacking or misused, such as in the final sentence of the second body paragraph. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to structure the arguments, but referencing is occasionally unclear, placing this criterion at Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, attempting less common lexical items such as 'contemporary era', 'financial burden', and 'pivotal role'. However, there are notable word-choice errors, spelling mistakes, and slip-ups throughout the text, including 'critcs' instead of 'critics', 'finacial' instead of 'financial', 'tends to living' instead of 'tend to live', and 'fast pace life' instead of 'fast-paced life'. These errors do not impede communication, as the reader can easily grasp the intended meaning, but they restrict the lexical score to Band 6.0 due to the lack of precision and frequent minor inaccuracies.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. The writer attempts complex structures using conditional or dependent clauses, such as 'Although, it raises finacial burden on government, I firmly believe...' and 'Moreover, they emotionally supports younger people when they feel their children are struggling'. However, there is a high frequency of grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('older people plays', 'they provides', 'regime spend'), tense inconsistencies ('tends to living'), and missing punctuation leading to run-on sentences. While these errors rarely impede overall communication, the frequent inaccuracies across various grammatical structures prevent the essay from achieving a Band 6.5, resulting in a Band 6.0 score.

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