Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In this highly competitive world, the average age of a person is declining due to many reasons over the period of time. As well as, many people think that the old people create problems and other thinks that aged people helps the society. In the following paragraphs I will discuss how the merits of having aged people outweigh the demerits.

First and foremost, the elder people have too much experince in all feilds related to work. relationship, skill, education and even in healtcare in which the youth take suggestions from them and help themselves to became a successful man in their life. Moreover, older people guide theirs family members how to live together under one roof without any fight and helps to decline the rate of divorce and the number of houses in their country which helps to make their environment more green. As well as, many public parks are maintained by the people who are retired from their job and have a lot of time free and mostly the public parks are used by them as the young people are busy to develop the economy. Beside this, it was observed that the people who achieve goals in their life is mostly due to the path that their grandparents gave and also due to their belessing which are always with them.

On the other hand, if there is no any elder people then the youth as well as the economy the country go to the wrong path and in result individuals will take drugs and drink alcohol as a meal which decline the growth of country as there will be no one who represnt the country. As well as most of the are not find either in offices nor in home but in the courts due the small misunderstanding between the families.

In conclusion, the pros of having aged people outweigh the cons due to the reasons given above and the old people are the pillars of the country as they not only help their own children but guided the youth so they can follow the right path for themselves and for their families.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.5
Coherence and Cohesion5.0
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response attempts to address both the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population, culminating in a clear position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. However, the development of ideas is limited and at times contains sweeping or unusual claims, such as the idea that the absence of elders leads youth directly to alcoholism or that parks are maintained solely by retired people. Several arguments are somewhat underdeveloped or tangential, aligning the response with Band 5.0 to 6.0 descriptors. While all parts of the prompt are touched upon, the reasoning lacks depth and formal academic support.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into appropriate paragraphs, including an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. There is an overall attempt at logical progression, using standard transitional phrases such as 'First and foremost', 'Moreover', and 'On the other hand'. However, referencing and cohesion are frequently faulty or mechanical. Phrases like 'Beside this, it was observed that...' and abrupt transitions create a choppy flow. Additionally, the misuse of cohesive links means the logical relationship between sentences is sometimes obscured, placing the response firmly at Band 5.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is relatively basic and repetitive, with noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and collocation. Examples include 'experince' instead of experience, 'feilds' instead of fields, 'healtcare' instead of healthcare, 'belessing' instead of blessings, and 'represnt' instead of represent. The student attempts some less common vocabulary such as 'competitive world' and 'environment more green', but inaccuracies impede clarity at times. The lexical range is minimally adequate for the task, meeting the criteria for Band 5.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but grammatical control is weak throughout. There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the old people create problems and other thinks that aged people helps'), tense consistency, and article usage. Run-on sentences and punctuation slips are common, such as in the long second body paragraph where multiple ideas are linked by commas rather than proper clause structures. These persistent errors frequently cause difficulty for the reader, placing the grammar score at Band 5.0.

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