Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-19
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In many countries, people are living longer than in the past, because of the growing proportion of elderly people in society. While an older population can create several challenges for governments, from my point of view, I believe that its also bring some significant benefits.
One disadvantage of an aging population is the increased of the convenient in public services. The older are more likely to use medical treatment and health care. At the same time, the number of working-age people may decline drastically, resulting in a smaller increased of price paying for living in this modern life. This can make it more difficult for governments to provide financial support for maintain the public service.
Additionally, another problem is the quantity and quality workers. If a country has large amount of elderly population and small number of young people, there may not be enough employees in industries. In addition, younger family members may have to spend more time and money caring for elderly relatives.
In other hand, having more elderly people can provide several benefits. Older people often have large knowledge and life experience, which they can pass on to younger generations. Furthermore, elderly people can providing to their families by helping with childcare and household responsibilities, giving young generation parents more time to focus on their jobs.
In conclusion, an older population can help the younger generation the easier way to get the success aim in their life because of the experience and live knowledge. However, in some modern country the large amount of elder people can give government negative effect on economic and finance in provide country. Additionally, the income goes down opposite with the outcome and the expensive cost for maintain life, its can bring lots of drawback to government and young generation.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population and presents a clear position. However, some ideas are under-developed or expressed unclearly, such as the obscure phrasing regarding 'the increased of the convenient in public services' in the second paragraph. The writer attempts to extend arguments about healthcare, workforce shortages, and family support, but the reasoning occasionally becomes vague or repetitive. The conclusion also introduces slightly confusing ideas about economic impacts. While the overall stance is clear, the development of specific points lacks the precision required for higher band levels. This places the response comfortably at Band 6.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a logical division into introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different arguments, with body paragraphs dedicated to disadvantages and benefits respectively. However, cohesion at the sentence level is sometimes faulty or mechanical. For instance, the transition phrase 'In other hand' contains a grammatical error, and referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the ambiguous pronoun use in 'its can bring lots of drawback'. Furthermore, cohesive devices are sometimes repetitive or awkwardly integrated, which impacts the overall flow. Therefore, a score of 6.0 is appropriate.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for the task and attempts less common items such as 'proportion of elderly people', 'working-age people', and 'childcare and household responsibilities'. However, there are numerous noticeable errors in word choice, form, and collocation throughout the text. Examples include 'its also bring' instead of 'it also brings', 'increased of the convenient', 'large knowledge' instead of 'vast knowledge', and 'live knowledge'. Spelling is generally acceptable, but frequent word-formation errors and inaccurate vocabulary choices occasionally impede communication or cause strain for the reader, aligning closely with Band 5.5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The writer employs a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some ambition with subordinate clauses such as 'While an older population can create several challenges...' and 'If a country has large amount...'. However, grammatical accuracy is weak. There are frequent errors in verb forms, prepositions, and sentence structures, such as 'its also bring some significant benefits', 'the increased of the convenient', 'large amount of elderly population', and 'providing to their families'. Punctuation and article usage are also inconsistent. Because errors occur frequently and sometimes cause difficulty or confusion for the reader, this performance meets the criteria for Band 5.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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