Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-19
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
There is a graph depicting the average monthly price changes of three metals throughout the year 2014. There is monthwise data for the metals Copper, Nickel and Zinc.
The price of Nickel continued to drop till June in three phases including: January to March, slow decline from April to May and May to June. Then, it had a sharp increase upto July that remained constant untill September. Lastly, having another round of fall and rise, it halted at 1%.
Likewise, the price of Copper faced continuous drop from January to March and then remained steady till June. Although the price rose for next few months, it again underwent through a decline from September to November, after losing a stable position. Eventually, it increased in the following month.
On the other hand, having a rise for the first two months, the price of Zinc reduced gradually untill March, followed by a sharp decrease in the next month. But, at last, it faced a stepwise increase by the end of the year. There is a graph depicting the average monthly price changes of three metals throughout the year 2014. There is monthwise data for the metals Copper, Nickel and Zinc.
The price of Nickel continued to drop till June in three phases including: January to March, slow decline from April to May and May to June. Then, it had a sharp increase upto July that remained constant untill September. Lastly, having another round of fall and rise, it halted at 1%.
Likewise, the price of Copper faced continuous drop from January to March and then remained steady till June. Although the price rose for next few months, it again underwent through a decline from September to November, after losing a stab
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 1.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 1.0
The student has written an essay that completely misinterprets the prompt. The prompt provided in the task instructions asks a complex opinion question about an aging population, specifically whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. However, the student's response entirely addresses an Academic Task 1 graph about the average monthly price changes of three metals (Copper, Nickel, and Zinc) in 2014. Because the response is entirely off-topic for Task 2, it fails to address the prompt's requirements regarding societal aging. Although the essay is repetitive and truncated due to copying and pasting errors within the text, the total length meets the minimum requirement. Consequently, the score reflects a fundamental failure in addressing the correct task prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The text demonstrates some ability to group information into paragraphs, and mechanical cohesive devices such as 'Likewise', 'On the other hand', and 'Lastly' are used to transition between ideas. However, the structure of the overall response is severely compromised because large portions of the text are duplicated verbatim midway through the writing. This repetition breaks the logical flow and progression of the writing. Paragraphing is disjointed due to the abrupt cutting off of sentences, such as 'after losing a stab'. While basic linking words are present, the pervasive repetition and lack of a coherent global structure prevent the text from achieving a higher band score.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The student employs a range of vocabulary suitable for describing statistical data and trends, such as 'depicting', 'monthwise data', 'slow decline', 'sharp increase', and 'remained steady'. These lexical items demonstrate an attempt to use appropriate terminology for a Task 1 report. However, there are noticeable limitations in precision and occasional awkward collocations, such as 'halted at 1%' and 'underwent through a decline'. Furthermore, the repetition of entire blocks of text severely limits the breadth of unique vocabulary displayed. Despite these flaws, the vocabulary used is largely relevant to the descriptive content attempted, preventing a lower score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, incorporating participial phrases like 'having another round of fall and rise' and dependent clauses introduced by 'Although' and 'after losing'. However, grammatical control is inconsistent, with errors such as 'upto' (spelt as one word), 'untill' (misspelt), and the redundant phrasing 'underwent through a decline'. Punctuation and sentence boundaries are disrupted near the end of the text where the response abruptly trails off mid-word ('stab'). While there are some error-free clauses, the frequency of spelling mistakes and awkward phrasing limits the grammatical success of the piece.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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