Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-19
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In many countries, individuals are now living longer than ever before. some individuals say an aging population generate the issues for Governments. But other individuals consider that there are benefits if society has more senior citizens.
Some people believe that an increasing number older people can create issue for Government. Due to fact that there are so many people which are live in many countries and population is increasing day by day. Increasing birth rate provide a large number of problem in so much countries. Consequently, the birth ratio is increasing or more than the death rate. For illustrate, the population of my country is approximately twenty-five billions but the birth rate is two-thousands per day and death rate per day .are round about two to three-hundred almost.
On the paradoxical side, other individuals consider that there are benefit if society has more for older citizens. Life teaches people with valuable lessons. Moreover, older people has many useful knowledge so they are provide to the younger. because knowledge is gain day by day if a person has fifty year old and also a person has twenty year old. Consequently, the fifty year old person has too much knowledge as than a person which age is twenty. For illustrate, Recently, I went to Japan for tour although I lived there city Tokyo. I saw that there are thirty-two billions population in japan but there are no any issue in Japan. Because they think and do positive and honestly and also provide the knowledge with honestly.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that both have its advantages or disadvantage. Although both have benefit. if a person has no knowledge it can create knowledge from old once.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to address all parts of the task by discussing both the problems and benefits of an aging population, offering a concluding stance. However, the development of ideas is weak and heavily hindered by severe confusion regarding basic demographic concepts. For instance, the student confuses population aging with high birth rates and massive population totals (e.g., claiming 'population of my country is approximately twenty-five billions'). Arguments are frequently repetitive, generalized, and lack logical support. The personal example regarding Japan contains wildly inaccurate data and does not effectively support the prompt. Consequently, the position is not always clear and ideas remain under-developed, aligning the response with a Band 5 performance.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, which establishes some basic structural organization. However, there is a lack of clear overall progression and logical linking between ideas. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as 'On the paradoxical side' and frequent repetitive transitions like 'For illustrate'. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the train of thought. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion within paragraphs is faulty due to abrupt shifts in topic and broken sentence structures. These characteristics place the text firmly at Band 4, as information and ideas are not arranged coherently enough to earn a higher score.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, frequently circling back to words like 'people', 'knowledge', 'country', and 'population'. There are numerous word choice and word formation errors, such as 'generate the issues', 'older people has many useful knowledge', and 'old once'. Spelling and collocation issues are prevalent throughout the text. While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey a vague sense of the topic, the frequency of errors and the limited range of lexical items mean the response cannot achieve a passing score above Band 4.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The grammatical range is extremely limited, relying mostly on simple and flawed complex structures. There are persistent, highly intrusive grammatical errors in almost every sentence, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('older people has', 'population are'), incorrect verb forms ('which are live', 'they are provide'), and severely flawed sentence fragments ('and death rate per day .are round about two to three-hundred almost'). Punctuation is also erratic. These frequent errors cause significant difficulty for the reader and often distort the intended meaning, matching the criteria for a Band 4 score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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