Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In many countries, individuals are now living longer than ever before. Some individuals say an aging population create issues for governments. But other individuals consider that there are benefits if society has more senior citizens.

Some people believe that an increasing number older people can create issue for governments. Due to the fact that there are so many people who live in many countries and population is increasing day by day. Increasing birth ratio provide a large number of problem in countries. Consequently, the birth ratio is increasing or more than the death rate. For instance, the population of my country is approximately twenty-five millions but the birth rate is two thousands per day and death rate per day .are round about two to three hundred almost.

On the other hand, other individuals consider that there are benefits if society has more for older citizens. Life teaches people with valuable lessons. Moreover, older people have many useful knowledge so they are provides to the younger. because knowledge is gain day by day if a person has fifty year old and also a person has twenty year old. Consequently, the fifty year old person has too much knowledge as than a person which age is twenty. For illustrate, Recently, I went to Japan for tour although I lived there city Tokyo. I saw that there are thirty-two billions population in japan but there are no any issue in Japan. Because they think and do positive and honestly and also provide the knowledge with honestly.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that both have its advantages or disadvantage. Although both have benefit. if a person has no knowledge it can create knowledge from old once.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to address both aspects of the prompt regarding the aging population, but the development of ideas is limited and often confusing. For instance, the discussion on birth rates and population numbers in the first body paragraph digresses into demographic statistics that do not directly answer whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The student's position is somewhat discernible in the conclusion, but the arguments provided in the body paragraphs lack clear logical support and extension. For example, the point about older people teaching the young is introduced but poorly developed with non-sequiturs about age comparisons and an irrelevant example about visiting Japan. These limitations place the response at a Band 4.5 level, rounded to 5.0 for addressing the core theme.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The response shows some organisational structure with distinct paragraphs, but there is a lack of clear overall progression. Cohesive devices are frequently misused, mechanical, or awkward, such as the repetitive use of 'Consequently,' and 'For illustrate,' instead of standard transitions. Referencing is also problematic; phrases like 'both have its advantages or disadvantage' are vague and leave the reader guessing what 'both' refers to. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal coherence within paragraphs breaks down due to disconnected sentences and abrupt shifts in topic, such as jumping from local birth rates directly to a personal anecdote about a trip to Japan. This performance aligns with Band 5.0 descriptors.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The lexical resource is limited and basic, with frequent vocabulary errors that impede clarity. The student uses phrases like 'birth ratio' instead of birth rate, 'useful knowledge' instead of valuable experience or wisdom, and 'old once' instead of older ones. There are also severe mathematical and factual inaccuracies in vocabulary context, such as stating 'the population of my country is approximately twenty-five millions' followed by confusing birth and death rates, and stating 'thirty-two billions population in japan' which demonstrates a misunderstanding of numerical scale terminology. While the student attempts less common vocabulary, inaccuracies in word choice and collocation place this firmly at Band 4.5, rounded to 5.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The grammar is characterised by a very limited range of structures and frequent intrusive errors. Simple sentences dominate, and attempts at complex structures frequently fail grammatically, such as 'Due to the fact that there are so many people who live in many countries and population is increasing day by day' (fragmented or run-on structure) and 'so they are provides to the younger' (incorrect passive voice). Other persistent errors include subject-verb agreement issues ('an aging population create', 'death rate per day .are round about'), missing articles, and incorrect prepositions. Punctuation is also erratic, with misplaced periods breaking sentences mid-thought. These pervasive errors frequently cause difficulty for the reader, corresponding to a Band 4.5 score, rounded to 5.0.

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