Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-21
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In every country elder people plays a really cruical role in our society. We have a greater understanding and have a stronger bond with our beloved ones. Some people thinks that elder people are creating many problems for government.
To begin with, elder people are the main pillor of every family. We are not be able to make right decision without them because they have a great experience in their life. They met with almost every type of people in their life and can be able to give right decision to their family or closets ones. For example, we are not be able to get right decision in most of the cases so we need a good advisor for it. Most of people believe that having an aged person in their society plays a significant role by minimizing the incident which mostly happen in societies and having an aged person like our grand parents or parents they are the blessing for us.
Furthermore, some people believe having an aged person creates problems for government because elder people cannot be able to understand anything quickly as compared to younger one because elder people have low frequency of hearing while younger one can be able to adopt things quikly. Another problem which some people face is that the elder one gets angry too quikly and some of the people also get frustrated some times but we have to compromise.
To conclude, from my perspective i personally believe having a stronger bonding with your elder ones really help in your daily life because they are able to understand your feeling and you should have to compromise in some of the scnerio.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to address the prompt regarding the aging population, but it struggles with balance and focus. The prompt asks whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, but the essay focuses largely on the general value of elders in families rather than systematically weighing economic or societal pros and cons. Furthermore, there is confusion in the phrasing, such as 'Some people thinks that elder people are creating many problems for government,' followed by body paragraphs that mix family advice with vague claims about hearing and frustration. Ideas are repetitive, especially regarding decision-making and advice in families, leading to an under-developed discussion. Consequently, the response earns a Band 5.0 for partially addressing the task with a limited position.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, which provides a basic visual structure, but the internal organization and progression are weak. The introduction introduces the topic clumsily, and the body paragraphs lack clear thematic unity. Cohesive devices are basic and sometimes inaccurate, such as repetitive use of 'elder people' and phrases like 'To begin with' and 'Furthermore.' Paragraphing is attempted, but the final conclusion abruptly shifts to personal perspective without effectively summarizing the main arguments. Referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in the pronoun shifts ('We have a greater understanding...' changing to 'elder people are the main pillor of every family'). Overall, the structural flow is mechanical and disjointed, fitting the Band 5.0 descriptor.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The lexical resource is limited and heavily repetitive. Words like 'elder people,' 'decision,' and 'quikly' (misspelled) appear constantly throughout the text. There are several spelling mistakes, including 'cruical' instead of crucial, 'pillor' instead of pillar, 'closets' instead of closest, and 'scnerio' instead of scenario. Collocations are often awkward, such as 'low frequency of hearing' or 'get right decision.' The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, but noticeable errors in word choice and spelling cause frequent distraction for the reader, aligning closely with Band 5.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
Grammatically, the response displays a limited range of structures. The sentences are predominantly simple or prone to error when complexity is attempted. There are numerous grammatical errors, such as 'elder people plays' (subject-verb agreement), 'Some people thinks' (plural subject with singular verb), 'We are not be able to' (incorrect modal structure), and run-on sentences like 'Most of people believe that having an aged person in their society plays a significant role by minimizing the incident which mostly happen in societies and having an aged person like our grand parents or parents they are the blessing for us.' These frequent errors cause difficulty for the reader, placing the grammar firmly at a Band 5.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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