Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-21
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
At present, older people is live more in the communities. A lot of nations, citizens are now being alive prolongrd than in history earlier. Few population say an aging citizens produces causes for authorities. Other population believe there are advantages if community has more older population. This essay will discuss both pros and corns of older people are living longer in societies.
To begin with, the main advantage the older people is more important in the life. The elder citizen is give the best advice for anyone work. For example, a person is worried about anyone work and elder people is give more beneficial advice. However the old citizens are knowledge and experience is good. The elder people share knowlede in the young genration and it's help young genration knowledge is improved. Such as a oldest person share the knowlede in the young person after that the young person is easily to achieve the goal.
In addition, the older people may need more medical treatment and long-term care, increasing government or spending time. The governments took the sensible decisions about the healthcare. Furthermore the governments give pension in every older citizens. The governments pay the pension in every elder citizens and government face of difficulties. For instance, The UK authorities provides pension in every old people but this situation UK governments to face many difficulties.
To conclude, the oldest citizens is most crucial in the existance. The authorities give the pension in all older people and authorities to face challenges.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response addresses the prompt by attempting to discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population. A position is presented, stating that the essay will discuss both sides. However, the development of ideas is heavily constrained by severe linguistic limitations. In the body paragraphs, points are repetitive and under-developed, such as stating that older people give advice or that governments must pay pensions. While the core themes of the prompt are touched upon, the lack of clear elaboration and conceptual depth places the response within Band 4.0 descriptors, where the task is addressed only minimally and ideas remain rudimentary.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The text is organized into paragraphs, including an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which shows an underlying structure. However, logical progression is frequently disrupted by broken syntax and repetitive phrasing. Cohesive devices are minimal and often misused, such as the abrupt transitions using 'To begin with' and 'In addition' where the following sentences fail to logically connect to the previous claims. Pronoun referencing and substitution are poorly handled, making it difficult to follow the flow of argument across sentences. Paragraphing is attempted, but overall cohesion is faulty and mechanical, aligning with Band 4.0.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, frequently reusing terms such as 'older people', 'citizens', 'governments', and 'knowledge' throughout the text. There are numerous word-choice and word-formation errors, such as 'prolongrd', 'corns' instead of pros/cons, and awkward collocations like 'give the best advice for anyone work'. The range of vocabulary is limited and inadequate for expressing precise meaning, and spelling and morphological errors are frequent. This reflects the Band 4.0 descriptor, where basic vocabulary and frequent errors strain the reader and obscure meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The grammatical structures attempted are overwhelmingly simple and frequently plagued by fundamental errors in tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence construction. Examples include 'older people is live more', 'citizen is give', and 'the old citizens are knowledge and experience is good'. Complex sentences are rare, and when attempted, they are heavily flawed and ungrammatical. Punctuation and basic sentence boundaries are compromised, leading to frequent loss of clarity. The abundance of basic structural errors places this writing firmly at Band 4.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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