Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is often argued that nowadays people are living healthy and longer than ever before. Some believe that an aging population creates problems for governments. However, other people think there are various benefits when society would have elderly people. This essay would not only elaborate my opinion but would also provide suitable examples to shield my point of view.

To commence with, one of the most significant reason is that having an aging community sounds soothing and natural. To live a long and comfortable life is basic right in every constitution of the world. Moreover, it also reflects a country's environment and culture. Also, it can assist in giving a boost to a country's economy in a way that when overseas residents with an old age would come to know that a country has better environment to live, they would surely consider it. For instance, today Japan has the highest number of aged people. Therefore, foreign citizens are planning to move to Japan in order to live a healthy, peaceful, and an extended life. As a result, Japan's economy is making its way to a major financial rise.

In contrast, having a large amount of elderly residents can also have shocking disadvantages. Because when a country accounts for a large amount of old inhabitants there are lesser people to do work. As a result, a country's economy falls with the passage of time. Consequently, this results to devastating consequences. For instance, Italy is facing shortage of workers because there are only left with elderly people. As a result, this has caused them a huge financial crisis because there are left with no people to work there.

In conclusion, I believe that having aged residents is a better approach to some extent but, in long term it isn't. Because it leads to problems not only for governments but also for the welfare of inhabitants. From above examples it is clearly indicated that having an aged population is a mixed blessing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population and clearly states a position. In the introduction, the writer declares that 'This essay would not only elaborate my opinion but would also provide suitable examples,' which is somewhat formulaic. Ideas are generally relevant, such as the economic boost from retirees relocating or the strain on the workforce, but some arguments are under-developed or rely on questionable premises, such as overseas residents moving to Japan solely because it has an aged population. Furthermore, the conclusion contradicts itself slightly by stating that having aged residents is a 'better approach to some extent' after arguing that disadvantages outweigh benefits. Overall, the response meets the requirements for Band 6.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is coherent overall with a clear paragraph-by-paragraph structure, including an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. The writer uses standard transitional markers like 'To commence with,' 'Moreover,' and 'In contrast,' but referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in phrases like 'because there are only left with elderly people.' Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate advantages and disadvantages, but the logical progression within paragraphs is occasionally disrupted by repetitive phrasing and weak cohesive links. These issues place the response firmly in the Band 6 descriptor range.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student displays an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common items such as 'soothing and natural,' 'devastating consequences,' and 'financial crisis.' However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'living healthy and longer' (instead of healthily and longer), 'old inhabitants' (instead of older inhabitants), and 'making its way to a major financial rise.' Spelling is generally accurate, but some lexical choices are imprecise or overly simplistic. These limitations reflect the characteristics of Band 6, where the vocabulary is adequate to communicate the message despite noticeable flaws.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over grammar. However, there are frequent errors in grammar and sentence structure that detract from the overall quality. Examples include 'people are living healthy and longer,' 'when society would have elderly people,' 'one of the most significant reason is,' and 'because there are only left with elderly people.' Subject-verb agreement errors and awkward prepositions appear throughout the text. While these errors do not severely impede communication, they prevent the essay from achieving a higher band score, making Band 5.0 or 5.5 appropriate. Band 5 is chosen due to the frequency of structural errors in complex sentences.

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