Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Individuals from many nations have a higher life span due to the madical advancement same people belive that it is really great for our socity while others beleve that its bad for the economay due to many couses that i well discuess in this assey

i beleve an old populaion in a county is a houge barden for the economy becouse in that age a parson need more madical attencation campared to a young adult and the goverment have to spend more resources on them which can be used for other big probelems for an example many a individuale at the age of 60 have many health problems such as blood prasher , dabities , heart problems and many more and the goverments have to spend on those couses more due to that that many a big finacial barden on the economy a salution can be that the retiyerment ages should be extended that well help the people from old age to deal with there own expences and helps the goverment to collect more tax from them

sociendly those people are dependent on there kids or gardens for basic day to day task such as shopping or driving due to the old age that makes really hard for those individuals who have a job and can't give alout of time to those things for example a parson who work 40 hours a week and have there own famely can't gave that much time to there parents or grandparents its solution can be if that add them into there own famely that can also help to to have a great garden for their kids and that can spend more time with them without any problem

in conclusion i beleve that people from the old age can make a barden on the economy but that can be solved by taking small steps

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the perceived economic burdens and the social challenges of an aging population, and the writer clearly takes a position that the disadvantages outweigh the benefits, suggesting solutions such as extending the retirement age. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive, particularly regarding health costs and family care. The arguments are presented, but they lack depth and specific supporting evidence beyond vague generalisations. According to the band descriptors, this reflects a performance characteristic of Band 5, where the task is addressed, but ideas are under-developed and generalisations are not fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay is divided into an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a brief conclusion, showing some organisation. However, there is no clear overall progression or effective paragraphing division, as the entire second body paragraph runs as one giant, continuous block of text without proper sentence boundaries. Cohesive devices are minimal, repetitive, or inaccurate, with phrases like 'sociendly' and run-on structures used instead of standard conjunctions. Referencing is also occasionally unclear. This level of organisation aligns closely with Band 4, where information is not arranged coherently and cohesive management is very weak.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is very basic and limited, with frequent spelling errors that often strain the reader's understanding. Examples include 'madical' instead of medical, 'socity' instead of society, 'beleve' instead of believe, 'barden' instead of burden, 'parson' instead of person, 'couses' instead of causes, 'prasher' instead of pressure, and 'dabities' instead of diabetes. The range of vocabulary is inadequate for expressing precise academic ideas, and word choices are frequently erroneous. This corresponds to a Band 4 descriptor, where basic vocabulary is used and errors frequently strain the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The essay displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, consisting primarily of simple or poorly connected run-on sentences. There is a complete absence of standard punctuation, such as full stops, leading to long, rambling sentences joined improperly with conjunctions or commas. Grammatical errors are extremely frequent, including subject-verb agreement issues ('the goverment have'), article misuse, and incorrect prepositions. These pervasive errors frequently distort meaning and make comprehension difficult. This performance fits the Band 4 criteria, where errors are frequent and structures are very limited.

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