Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the majority of countries, the average age of people is higher than in past. It is often argued that this might be the problem for governments. However, some people believe having older people in a community is of great use. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both views before coming to a conclusion.

A number of people believe having an older community in our society is a rich source of cultural, religious and traditional information. These people are living examples for us in every aspect of life. An individual with a longer age have experienced more things in his life in comparison to those who lived short. Thus such people have better understanding of how to deal with life. Moreover, They taught us great values and how a community celebrate their traditional and religious festivals.

Another benefit of having elder people is their role as an extra support system for those who live with their families or nearby. For instance, grand parents are often seen playing, feeding, and teaching their grand childrens or taking care of home when their kids are busy at work. In our cultural community, the elder people plays an imprtant role in binding families together.

However, in some cases there are some disadvantages of having a longer age. As people grow older their immunity decreases and results in many long term illness. They cover most of the hospital beds and medical facilities provided by government. In terms of employement, with new technologies more skilled and young age people are preferred by most of the companies resulting into unemployed elders increases poverty and inflation.

Although there are some disadvantages of having aged people in a community, in my opinion the advantages outweigh them.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion5.5
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear position throughout, concluding that the advantages of an aging population outweigh the disadvantages. Ideas are extended and supported, such as discussing the cultural and traditional knowledge passed down by older generations and their support within families. However, there is a tendency to over-generalise in places, such as claiming that older individuals cover 'most of the hospital beds.' The arguments are relevant and well-structured, but some supporting points could be further refined to avoid broad generalisations. Overall, the response meets the criteria for Band 6.5, leaning towards Band 7 given the clear position and relevant development.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement with a traditional introduction, body paragraphs addressing both sides of the issue, and a short conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas, such as cultural benefits, family support, and economic/health drawbacks. Cohesive devices are employed, although some transitions feel a bit mechanical or basic, such as 'Moreover,' and 'Another benefit.' Referencing is generally clear, though minor cohesive slips occur, such as pronoun agreement issues ('the elder people plays'). Progression is logical throughout, making the text easy to follow. This performance aligns well with the Band 6 descriptors.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'immunity decreases,' 'long term illness,' and 'inflation.' However, there are noticeable spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'employement,' 'imprtant,' 'grand childrens,' and 'young age people' instead of 'young people.' Collocations are occasionally awkward, such as 'a longer age' instead of 'greater longevity' or 'older age.' Despite these inaccuracies, the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the intended meaning without impeding communication, fitting the Band 6 profile.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response incorporates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing conditional or relative clauses such as 'those who lived short' and 'those who live with their families.' However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('the elder people plays,' 'results in many long term illness') and missing articles ('in past'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but structural errors in complex sentences occasionally catch the reader's attention. Because errors persist and affect accuracy while still allowing the core message to be understood, a Band 6 score is appropriate.

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