Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In many regions of the world, people are having more age compare to past. Some people believe that againg is going to create issues for states. While other individuals think that society can take many benefits from aged people. According to my view, having elder people in our society is more rewarding because they can mentor our young adults and share their life lessons. Although there are some problems such as increased aged population will put pressure on governments' resources.

It is argued by number of people, elder people create problems for governments. It is because of the reason that they are not doing any job or working in industry, they are just living their retired life. On the other side, government have to pay their pensions and for more population they have to build more infrastructure for a society where most of the people are aged. They cannot neglect the older citizens because they have paid taxes through out their lives. As a result, government will have more financial burden with less resources and money. For example,

On the flip side, some people think that society will enjoy more benefits if they have elder people among them. Elder people have invested their lives in different work in various domains under challanging circumstances. So they can guide young professionals and entrepreneurs. As as result, young adults can achieve more success in less timespan with less failures. They can make people struggle more efficient and because of their advices, society people will have more growth and better results. For example, a person, who took advice from an experienced aged person, will excel more and achieve better opportunities in life than a person who had not takken any piece of advice.

In conclusion, people are living longer than ever before across many countries. It is argued that aged people create more problems for governments. On the other side, people say that society would have many advantages from older people. I believe that its advantages outweigh its disadvantages. Although more population will put pressure on government resources, our communities can have better future because of the presence of aged people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task, discussing both the drawbacks (such as government expenditure on pensions and infrastructure) and the benefits (such as mentoring and guidance for young adults) of an aging population. A clear position is presented in the introduction and reinforced in the conclusion, indicating that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Ideas are extended and supported, though the development is sometimes slightly repetitive. For instance, the discussion on mentoring could have been strengthened with a more concrete real-world example instead of a generic hypothetical scenario. Furthermore, the final sentence of the second paragraph trails off abruptly ('For example,'), leaving an incomplete thought. Overall, the task is adequately fulfilled to a Band 6.5 level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a generally coherent overall arrangement with clear paragraphing, dividing the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion appropriately. Cohesive devices are used to signal shifts in arguments, such as 'It is argued by number of people', 'On the other side', and 'On the flip side'. However, referencing and cohesion are sometimes faulty or mechanical. For instance, transitional phrases like 'As as result' contain typographical errors and awkward repetition. Additionally, paragraph 2 concludes mid-thought without a proper concluding example, which disrupts logical progression. Paragraphing is present and serves to separate the contrasting viewpoints, yet the overall flow could be smoother and more precisely controlled.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common items such as 'infrastructure', 'financial burden', and 'entrepreneurs'. However, there are frequent noticeable errors in word choice, morphology, and spelling throughout the essay. Examples include 'more age' instead of 'longer lives', 'againg' instead of 'aging', 'elder people' instead of 'elderly people' or 'older adults', 'through out' instead of 'throughout', and 'timespan' used incorrectly. Additionally, phrases like 'make people struggle more efficient' suffer from awkward collocations. While communication remains clear, the density of lexical inaccuracies prevents the response from achieving a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating subordinate clauses introduced by 'although', 'because', and 'while'. However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent errors in article usage, prepositional phrases, and subject-verb agreement, such as 'government have to pay' (instead of 'governments have'), 'takken' (instead of 'taken'), and missing articles in 'in industry'. Sentence structures can also be awkward or overly repetitive, such as 'a person, who took advice from an experienced aged person, will excel more and achieve better opportunities in life than a person who had not takken any piece of advice.' These errors occasionally require the reader to re-read, placing it firmly in the Band 5.5 category.

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