Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-25
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
In some countries,individuals are now living longer than ever before.But other believe that aging population born problems for goverments.Other people think there are benefits.
In my opinion,according to the statement some people right think that aging population creates numreous problems for governments.It has many disadvantage.While the other individuals wrong think that if society has more elderly people.
First of all,some disadvantage that if aging population creates problems.The first disadvantage that goverment does not needs to the peoples.Because the population over the government.So,the second disadvantage that the government does not provide security,facility etc.So the some disadvantage.The advantage that government better than aging population because the over population good thing from the country.Over population provide government better vote and respect,reputation from the CM government.
Second of all,other statement that there are benifits if society has more elderly individuals.Some advantage that it has better than the society elderly people.Because one elder people has need to the her home.Second advantage that the elder people learn that adualt children respect the country,teacher etc.So,some diadvantage that the elder people has difficult in keep home.Because the elder people illness.So,some children irritate that elder people in live home.
In conclusion,individual live in other country has many benifits.Because they send to the money in back family.Second of all,over population born many problems for government.Some instance that government do not provide better security,preserve and do not need to the people things.However the last,other people think that there are benefits if society has more eldery people.For instance,elderly people learn young children that respect other and respect teacher.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response attempts to address the prompt regarding the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population, but the development of ideas is severely hindered by limited language skills. The student attempts to state a position in the introduction and mentions some ideas such as government strain and elderly people teaching children respect, but these points are extremely underdeveloped, repetitive, and at times incoherent. Sentences like 'government does not needs to the peoples' fail to clearly explain the concepts. While parts of the task are touched upon, the reasoning is hard to follow, placing this response at Band 4.0 under the Task Achievement descriptors.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, information and ideas are not arranged coherently. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as starting paragraphs with 'First of all, some disadvantage that if aging population creates problems.' Paragraphing is attempted, but internal logical progression is almost entirely absent, resulting in disjointed thoughts and repetitive phrasing. Referencing is unclear throughout, making it very difficult for the reader to follow the flow of arguments. This aligns closely with Band 4.0 descriptors for Coherence and Cohesion.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is very basic, repetitive, and often misused. Examples include 'born problems' instead of 'cause problems', 'numreous', and 'adualt children'. Word choices and collocations are frequently unnatural or incorrect, such as 'elder people has difficult in keep home' and 'illness'. There are multiple spelling errors throughout the text. Because the vocabulary is extremely limited and errors frequently strain the reader's understanding, the lexical resource is characteristic of a Band 4.0 level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The grammatical range is very limited, consisting mostly of short, simple, or heavily flawed structures. Complex sentence attempts are uniformly faulty, as seen in 'While the other individuals wrong think that if society has more elderly people.' Errors in tense, subject-verb agreement, articles, and prepositions are very frequent throughout the entire response, often distorting the intended meaning and causing significant difficulty for the reader. This performance reflects the Band 4.0 descriptors for Grammatical Range and Accuracy.
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