Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Many of the the individuals who diet is natural and vegetarian and to be know the physical activity is good for learning accountability dedication leaderships among many other traits and it helps to maintain the quality of life and perspectives they living longer in so many countries. And some who peoples say that againg community is creates dyasfunctional factors for governments.

In the community some adults individuals are very relible with the old peoples they thought that the his life experience helps us in every evil condition. From my perspective whereby peoples living longer than ever before they mostly vegetarian. Being a vegetarian opt to take a well prepared fresh food at house. Rarely eat out but snacks on things fresh food in between meals its the good hack to lived so far. After hard months invigorating that an excuration in the natural sights and sounds in todays world population is steadily increased in recenraly years while bad affects on the country when the big number population in one country is not good for us. When needed more food water and livivg places.

Elder individuals is the paramount of importance for us country. For example when a elder man in the family they do his goals and works on daily basis because they guided in every sitution. After that many of the other advantages for example a old doctor, scientistic and teacher is most intellgent compare to the adult community it is crucial for her family and country.

In conclusion Physical activity is good for learning accountability dedications and leaderships for his next coming challenges and for her country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response attempts to address the prompt regarding the aging population, but the ideas are frequently unclear, disjointed, and underdeveloped. While the student touches on both benefits (such as life experience and the value of older professionals like doctors and teachers) and disadvantages (such as demands on food, water, and living places), the connection between these arguments and the overall topic is often obscured by tangential ideas about vegetarianism and physical activity. Furthermore, there is no clear position maintained throughout the essay regarding whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Because the arguments lack clear extension and support, this performance aligns closely with Band 4.0 descriptors.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The overall organization of the essay is weak, making it difficult to follow the progression of ideas. Although the text is divided into paragraphs, the internal cohesion within these paragraphs is frequently faulty and mechanical. Referencing and conjunctions are often misused or omitted entirely, such as abrupt transitions between sentences like 'And some who peoples say that againg community is creates dyasfunctional factors for governments.' There is a lack of logical sequencing, and sentences often read as isolated, disconnected thoughts rather than cohesive arguments. These characteristics place the response firmly at Band 4.0 for coherence and cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The vocabulary used throughout the essay is basic, repetitive, and often inaccurate. The student relies heavily on simple words and produces numerous word-choice and collocation errors that frequently strain the reader's comprehension, such as 'againg community is creates dyasfunctional factors' and 'the paramount of importance for us country.' Attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'invigorating', 'excuration', and 'scientistic', result in major errors in form and meaning. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey a very basic intent, the persistent errors and limited range restrict the score to Band 4.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The grammatical structure of the essay is severely limited and inaccurate. The response contains a high frequency of basic and complex sentence attempts that are heavily flawed, resulting in distorted meanings and frequent difficulty for the reader. Examples include 'Many of the the individuals who diet is natural and vegetarian and to be know the physical activity is good...' and 'When needed more food water and livivg places.' Punctuation and subject-verb agreement are persistently problematic across nearly every sentence. Because errors are extremely frequent and impede communication throughout, the grammar is characteristic of Band 4.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.