Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In some countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Few people say an elder are increase population with issues for goverment. Other think they have some benefit in our society. In this view, the disadvantages of having an ageing population outweight the advantages.

First of all, there are some bleesing of having elderly people in our country. They are very experienced and knowldgable person. If there any problem we suggest from them to sort out if this for example, they giving information about previous days when there is no network how people lead their life. In many cases, they can support the younger family member.They adviced which is better for now. They teaches us the reality of society, and not only the moral of life but also say the harsh part of life.

On the other hand, there is some disadvantage of having an elderly person in society. For senior citizen goverment need many healthcare oportunity because they sick anytime anywhere so it must insure to give them proper treatment. So it is very costly to arrange this service for those people. For this reason, there is a bad effect on our economic. Moreover, some ageing people can not do their own work such as shower or feeding. For this problem they need someone to take care of them. It is not also painfull but also kind of stress. Therefore, they need many people to connect with them cause of they feel loneliness. While young people doing all these thing they feel bored. For this reason they can not concentrate their own workplace.

In conclusion, there is lots of problem to having old people in society rather than benefit. Even the disadvantages outweight the advantages because of they impact on national economy and also peoples daily life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The student addresses both aspects of the prompt regarding the aging population and clearly states a position in the introduction that disadvantages outweigh advantages. Relevant ideas are presented, such as the wisdom and experience of older generations versus the economic and caregiving burdens on society. However, the ideas are often under-developed and lack extended explanations. For instance, the discussion on economic impact and caregiving duties remains relatively brief and simplistic. Although the task is addressed, the supporting details tend to be repetitive and lack specific examples, which aligns this response with a Band 5.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay is divided into an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, showing basic paragraphing awareness. However, the overall progression is disrupted by mechanical and faulty use of cohesive devices, such as 'First of all', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion', which are used rather rigidly. Referencing is frequently unclear, with ambiguous pronouns like 'They' and 'them' making it difficult to follow the precise argument. Sentences often lack smooth transitions, leading to a somewhat disjointed reading experience. These features reflect Band 5.0 performance.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The lexical resource is limited and frequently repetitive, relying on basic vocabulary such as 'problem', 'benefit', and 'people'. There are noticeable word choice and collocation errors throughout the text, such as 'bleesing' instead of 'blessings', 'knowldgable person', 'healthcare oportunity', and 'bad effect on our economic'. While the intended meaning is usually retrievable, the frequent spelling and lexical inaccuracies cause difficulty for the reader and demonstrate a lack of precision, capping the score at Band 4.5, which is rounded to 5.0 based on standard descriptors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, with frequent errors in tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence construction. Examples of errors include 'an elder are increase population', 'If there any problem we suggest from them', 'they sick anytime anywhere', and 'While young people doing all these thing they feel bored'. Simple sentences dominate, and attempts at complex structures are almost always faulty and lead to distorted or awkward meanings. Frequent grammar errors cause considerable strain for the reader, fitting the Band 4.0 level.

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