Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's rapidly changing world there is a major shift seen in people's way of thinking. The ratio of the average age has been significantly increases in multiple countries over the years because of this, some people tend to believe that elderly population may cause concerns for govermnent and on the other hand some people believe taht it is really benefical for a comunity to have larger number of elderly population. In this essay i will discuss both advantages and disadvantages of this prespective. Personally I am in favour of having elderly population because, I believe that it has many advantages of having such population over its disadvantages in terms of their experince and insights which are lacking in young people and also their love and affection that they can give to their close ones.

To begin with, having elderly people in a community has numerous benefits. For instance, a country can utilize the experience of that people in policy making for the betterment of their society, as well as their experienced insights might be play a crucial role in every area of community that needs to be improved.

Moreover, In many cultures it feels like a blessing to have old people.For example if a child has its grandparents it might a plus factor as there are many things which he can learn from his grandparents such as the right direction , the love and the affection that is really essential for his upbringing.

In contrast, this view has its disadvantages too. For instance, it may be quite problematic for a country to have older population as the government have to pay attention to their health and economic issuses beacuse older people in many country do nothing for themselves with the passage of time they become useless and consider as a liability for government and even sometimes for their families too.

In conclusion, it is obvious that an older population can provide multiple benefits to a community. Although, this view has some disadvantages but I suggest that government should utilize the experience of these people and engage them in healthy activities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population and clearly stating a personal position in favour of the benefits. The ideas are relevant, particularly regarding experience, insights, and familial affection. However, some arguments are under-developed and rely on generalisations rather than deep extension. For instance, the point about grandparents teaching children is somewhat superficial and could be expanded with more robust examples. The conclusion restates the position adequately. Overall, the task response meets the criteria for a Band 6.0 as it addresses all parts of the prompt with relevant ideas, though development is occasionally limited.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a recognizable introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to separate distinct points, such as benefits in policy making versus family benefits, and disadvantages. However, cohesive devices are sometimes mechanical or faulty, such as the repetitive use of 'For instance' and 'Moreover'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in the transition between sentences in the conclusion and body paragraphs. There is a lack of smooth transitions between some ideas, leading to a slightly disjointed flow. These features place the response firmly at Band 6.0 for coherence and cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'beneficial', 'community', 'perspective', and 'liability'. However, there are notable spelling and word-choice errors throughout the text, such as 'govermnent', 'taht', 'benefical', 'comunity', 'experince', 'issuses', and 'beacuse'. Furthermore, the phrase 'do nothing for themselves with the passage of time they become useless and consider as a liability' demonstrates unnatural collocation and awkward phrasing. While communication is not severely impeded, the frequency of lexical errors and spelling mistakes prevents the score from reaching a higher band. This corresponds to a Band 5.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some variety in structure. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement, articles, and punctuation. Examples include 'The ratio of the average age has been significantly increases', 'their experienced insights might be play a crucial role', 'if a child has its grandparents it might a plus factor', and run-on sentences in the introduction and body paragraphs. The high frequency of grammatical and punctuation errors causes some difficulty for the reader and prevents the response from achieving a Band 6.0. Therefore, a Band 5.0 is appropriate.

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