Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In many countries, there is a significant increase in life expectancy. It is believed by some people that elderly people cause problems for government. while others argue that they even facilitate enormous benefits to society. I firmly believe that old age persons provide a guiding path for younger generations.

First and foremost, people who think older adults may increase burden on the economy of the country because a huge amount is spent to provide them basic financial, medical and healthcare facilities. As a result, it affects the economy of a country and the rights of young generation are being overlooked. For example, in many European countries old-aged people receive a huge fund to fulfill their needs but young people struggle to find decent government jobs as a result they opt for private jobs with low salary.

on the other hand, elderly individuals are constant source of inspiration and guiding path of young children. This is because of that they have experienced certain realities of life and learned lessons so they can provide better guidance. For example, in Pakistan people religiously follow the instructions of their grandparents and consequently become a better and respectful person of the society. Moreover, older members are also heplful for improving financial status of their family because, they take care of their grandkids when mothers are working women which results in men and women working together to earn their livelihood. An example can be seen in Pakistan mostly grandparents take care of the kids and prepare meals for them when mothers go to work while helping them financially.

In conclusion, Although, many people assume that the old-aged population is a burden on economy of a country and creates problems. I strongly believe that they provide enormous benefits to the society by guiding the right path and helping the young ones to attain financial stability.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The student addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both the disadvantages regarding economic burdens and the benefits relating to family support and guidance. A clear position is established in the introduction and maintained throughout the essay. Ideas are extended with relevant examples, such as mentioning young people in European countries or grandparents taking care of grandkids in Pakistan. However, some arguments tend to over-generalise and could be developed with greater depth to reach a higher band. For instance, the economic impact is stated rather than fully explored. Overall, the response meets the criteria for Band 6.5, leaning towards Band 7 for addressing all parts of the task with a clear stance and supporting examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with clear paragraphing, including an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Transitional markers such as 'First and foremost', 'on the other hand', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion' are utilized to structure the response. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical, as seen in awkward phrasing like 'This is because of that they have experienced' and incorrect capitalization and punctuation at the beginning of sentences (e.g., 'on the other hand'). Referencing is occasionally unclear, and logical progression within paragraphs could be smoother. These issues place the response firmly in the Band 6 category.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for the task, successfully using terms like 'life expectancy', 'financial status', and 'livelihood'. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'facilitate enormous benefits' and 'constant source of inspiration', though word choice is sometimes imprecise or unnatural. Furthermore, there are noticeable lexical errors, such as 'old age persons' instead of 'elderly people' or 'old-aged', 'heplful' instead of 'helpful', and incorrect prepositional usage. While communication is never impeded, these inaccuracies and spelling slips prevent the writing from achieving a Band 7.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writer employs a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including relative clauses and conditional ideas. There are several good complex sentences, such as 'When mothers go to work while helping them financially.' However, control of grammar and punctuation is inconsistent. Frequent errors include missing articles ('burden on economy', 'on right path'), capitalization errors ('on the other hand'), and awkward syntactic structures ('because a huge amount is spent to provide them basic financial'). Despite these errors, the meaning remains clear throughout, aligning well with the Band 6 descriptor where simple and complex forms are mixed with occasional mistakes that rarely impede communication.

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