Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-26
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
People have different opinion about old ages people. Some people think that aging people creates problems for governments while other argue that there are benefits if society has more elderly people. in my opinion, the advantages gaining experiece from elderly population and family management outweigh the disadvantage recieving pension from government for long time.
On the one hand, elderly people have a wide range of experience. This means that aging citizens experiences every hardship of life. They can differentiate what is good and what is evil as a result younger can learn a lot of things from thier experieces, they guide their younger about every aspect of life. This may has a positive effect on younger indivduals. children are see good at manners,ethics and great knwledge of life who have elderly people in their home. In addition, aging people also play a significant role in family management. This is because elderly people know better about managment because they throught from family and job responsibilties they better know how to decipline a family. This may help the family member to spent money on right things, doing work on time and to aware from their job. One good example of this is that countries who have elderly people often found better in managment and responsibilities.
on the other hand, giving pension for years can become burden on goverment. This is due the fact that when people live a long life they get monthly pension for a long period from government. Moreover, government also give allounces for weak and victim of diseses people as a result this may pressurized government. In a survey in Pakistan show that approximately 20 percent of total budget goes to pensionare people which is big burden on government.
In conclusion, from my perspective the benefits gaining experience and better management outweigh the drawback the pension burden on government.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population, presenting a clear position in the introduction and conclusion. The ideas are relevant, focusing on the transmission of experience and family management as benefits, and the pension burden as a drawback. However, some arguments are somewhat under-developed and lack full elaboration. For example, the point about family management is repetitive and lacks precise examples. The survey mention regarding Pakistan is a good attempt to support the negative side, but overall, the task is addressed adequately, fitting the Band 6 descriptor well as it covers all parts of the task with some ideas remaining slightly under-developed.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with clear paragraphing, separating the introduction, the two body paragraphs, and the conclusion. Transitional phrases such as 'On the one hand', 'In addition', and 'On the other hand' are utilized to signal the shift in ideas. However, referencing and cohesion are sometimes faulty or mechanical. For instance, sentences like 'This is due the fact that when people live a long life they get monthly pension...' show awkward transitions. Additionally, punctuation errors and run-on sentences occasionally disrupt the logical progression between sentences. Overall, the organizational structure meets the criteria for Band 6.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common items such as 'differentiate', 'significant role', and 'pensioner'. However, there are frequent word-choice errors, incorrect forms, and spelling mistakes throughout the text, such as 'ages' instead of 'aged', 'gaining experiece' instead of 'gaining experience', 'recieving' instead of 'receiving', 'allounces' instead of 'allowances', and 'pensionare' instead of 'pensioners'. These errors do not seriously impede communication, but they restrict the lexical score to Band 5.0, as the vocabulary control shows noticeable inaccuracies.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but grammatical control is inconsistent. There are frequent errors in verb tense, article usage, prepositional phrases, and subject-verb agreement. Examples include 'Some people think that aging people creates problems', 'This may has a positive effect', and 'In a survey in Pakistan show that'. Many complex structures are faulty, which frequently causes difficulty for the reader and requires re-reading to grasp the exact meaning. These persistent errors place the grammar firmly in the Band 5 category.
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