Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In many countries, individuals have been spending most of the time on earth than ever before.Some people belives over aged public creates more challanges for state while other thinks elderly messes have a possitive impact on the society.They may have a burden and effects the economy on the government and have a significant role for the society and promote cultural to stand up their values.

To begin with, there are so many drawbacks on the nations.Firstly,over aging people cannot to do more serve country due to lack of their eyesight and weekness.They cannot sit for a long time to perform their duties in the governments department because they lost their will power and the result is that they become boring and challenging for the state.Secondly,elderly people needed to take good medication facilities and wheeled chair and that's why governments cannot give them opportunities for the loss of money and the result shows they became burden on the governments.

Over aging public have a meaningful sources for us to gain knowledge for them to pursue career in the reputed companies.Elderly

people promote our cultural diversity and become a valuable asset for our youngsters. They told us how to stand and become a valuable person of the family from their past events .In this way we cannot forget our moral standards and values of life.

Here are many advantages outweigh the disadvantages. They provide a freedom of choice to learn new things. They energetic us to tell a past records of their life and provide a strong knowledge dor decision making .Although, many over aging people are harmful for the socities because they do not well behave for all kinds of individuals.

In conclusion, we should take care of them and provide all the necessities of life which they need them.In isl

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response attempts to address all parts of the prompt regarding the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population, expressing a clear personal stance in the final paragraphs that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. However, the development of ideas is frequently constrained by limited language expression. For instance, the discussion of economic burdens mentions medical facilities and wheelchairs, but these points are under-developed and tangled with unclear reasoning about 'loss of money'. Similarly, the benefits are broadly noted as gaining knowledge and promoting cultural diversity, yet the supporting explanations rely on vague generalisations such as 'they told us how to stand and become a valuable person'. While all parts of the task are touched upon, the lack of fully extended and clearly supported arguments places this response at Band 5.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The text is divided into paragraphs, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which shows some rudimentary organisation. However, there is a lack of clear overall progression and logical flow throughout the essay. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as abrupt transitions ('To begin with', 'Secondly', 'Here are many advantages outweigh the disadvantages') which fail to connect ideas smoothly. Referencing is also frequently confusing, with pronouns like 'they' and 'them' shifting ambiguously between governments, elderly people, and younger generations. Paragraphing is attempted, but some paragraphs are disjointed and trail off or merge unrelated points, resulting in a performance that aligns with Band 4.5 to 5.0, best represented by a 5.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with frequent lexical errors and odd collocations that occasionally strain the reader's understanding. Examples include 'over aged public', 'elderly messes', 'weekness', 'wheeled chair', and 'they energetic us'. The student attempts some less common vocabulary such as 'cultural diversity' and 'valuable asset', but these are overshadowed by pervasive word-choice errors, such as using 'boring and challenging' to describe senior citizens or 'meaningful sources for us to gain knowledge for them'. Spelling mistakes and word formation issues are common throughout the text. This range and accuracy level corresponds closely to the Band 4 descriptors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but these attempts are frequently faulty and obscure the intended meaning. Grammatical errors are highly frequent across the text, involving subject-verb agreement ('elderly people needed', 'over aging public have'), incorrect verb tenses and aspects ('have been spending', 'belives', 'thinks'), and missing articles or prepositions. Sentence structures are often convoluted or broken, such as 'Although, many over aging people are harmful for the socities because they do not well behave for all kinds of individuals.' Due to the constant presence of severe grammatical errors that frequently cause difficulty for the reader, this warrants a Band 4.0.

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