Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-27
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The number of older people is increasing in several developed and developing countries because of better health care facilities and lifestyle that has increased the life expectancy.While an aging population has some benefits, but there are also drawbacks of having huge ratio of elder people in country for the government.
On the one hand, older people are more experienced and can work as a mentor for younger adults. For example, in the fields like medicine,teachers,lawyers you need some experts that can provide guidance for freshers in the field and for all that we need some mature people. Futhermore , many older people works with society welfare groups after retirement which benefits the society in several ways. In family, many grandparents help to take care of their grandchildren by which many parents can focus on their work without worrying about their children, it helps in developing a bonding between family members.
On the other side, having a huge aging population causing troubles for government in various ways, as government has to pay pansions for retired people and free health care. For giving health care facilities,pansions and social benefits government spent a lot of budget and in return gets nothing because the amount of young tax payer decreased on the other side. This leads the government towards financial pressure. By following this, the place for young people in corporate and other departments has been decreased beacuse of older people ,this may lead towards labour shortage.
In conclusion, the older people have many benefits as they can work as mentor ,volunteer and family maker,but their disadvantages for government are overweighting their advantages.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population before presenting a clear conclusion that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. The position is maintained throughout the essay. Ideas are generally relevant, such as mentioning mentorship, childcare support, and the financial burden of pensions and healthcare. However, some arguments lack full extension and suffer from over-generalization or slightly simplistic expression, such as the claim that governments get nothing in return for elderly healthcare spending. This places the performance comfortably at Band 6.0, as it addresses all parts of the task though some ideas are slightly under-developed.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with clear paragraphing, dividing the introduction, body paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Transitional markers such as 'On the one hand', 'Futhermore', and 'On the other side' are used to signal the progression of ideas. However, cohesion is occasionally faulty or mechanical. For instance, referencing and punctuation around connectors are sometimes awkward, as seen in 'Futhermore ,' with a spacing error, and 'By following this, the place for young people...', which creates an unclear logical link between sentences. Paragraphing is present and appropriate, but logical progression within paragraphs occasionally stumbles due to these awkward transitions, warranting a Band 6.0.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'life expectancy', 'mentor', 'volunteer', and 'financial pressure'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout the text, such as 'pansions' instead of 'pensions', 'elder people' instead of 'elderly people', and collocation slips like 'family maker' instead of caregiver or family support. Despite these inaccuracies, communication is not severely impeded, and the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main arguments, aligning with the Band 6.0 descriptor.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The writer employs a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over multi-clause structures such as 'While an aging population has some benefits, but there are also drawbacks...'. However, this specific example illustrates a common error: double marking with 'While' and 'but'. There are frequent errors in grammar, punctuation, and articles, such as missing articles ('in country', 'for government', 'decreased on the other side') and awkward phrasing like 'for giving health care facilities... government spent a lot of budget'. Punctuation errors are also present, such as spaces before commas. These errors do not impede overall communication, placing the grammar at a Band 5.5 to 6.0 level; a Band 6.0 is awarded as there is a workable mix of sentence types.
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