Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
In recent years, many individuals has been massive increased in living longer than ever before. It can be developed the people in all over the world. Moreover, some people say an aging population creates causes for governments but otjer people think there are helps for society has more elderly people. However, this essay will discuss about the aging population outweight the many nations.
On the one hand, one of the main advantage of aging population is developed highly increased in birth rate. In addition, citizens import the development things one to another place easily. They used to medicine herd in own experiences,which help to grow enery in our body. Furthermore, young people get extra knowledge through the elder citizens, and evolve the communities and socities. Older people cannot work hard because they are lost the energetic power.
On other hand, the main disadvantages of having an aging population outweight is its cannot properly seen in socities and cities. Moreover, aging population crates problem for governments to initial increasing harmful diseases. They donot provide better medicine for different places due to recent conditions of flood, landslide and earthquake. However, people donot get better job oppertunities because increasing population day by day. They impact our governments and life.
In conclusion, people can management to living together and help for poor people. Most of the place of different nation donnot get better facility like transportations, job, electricity and purify water. Governments cannot manage the people to different things. However, people can help one people to another people and get best helpful person awards through the governments. Most of children donot go to school due to the poor conditions environment.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response addresses the prompt regarding an aging population, attempting to discuss both advantages and disadvantages, and expresses a position. However, the development of ideas is severely limited and often unclear due to language barriers. For example, the writer mentions that older people help grow energy in the body and pass on knowledge, but these points are underdeveloped and tangled with confusing assertions. The conclusion does not properly synthesise the main arguments of the essay, instead introducing unrelated points about poor environments and awards. Because the ideas are insufficiently extended and lack clarity, the response meets the descriptors for Band 4.0 in Task Achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, which shows an attempt at structure, but the logical progression and overall coherence are heavily disrupted. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as starting paragraphs with abrupt and confusing transitions like 'On other hand, the main disadvantages of having an aging population outweight is its cannot properly seen'. Referencing and pronouns are frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the line of argument. Information and ideas are not arranged in a coherent manner, fitting the Band 4.0 descriptor where organizational flow is largely absent.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is basic and frequently inappropriate, which significantly impedes communication. The writer relies on simple and repetitive terms, and attempts to use less common vocabulary result in severe collocation and word-choice errors, such as 'medicine herd in own experiences', 'energetic power', and 'purify water'. There are also numerous spelling and morphological errors throughout the text ('otjer', 'outweight', 'crates', 'oppertunities'). This limited range and frequent error rate place the response firmly at Band 4.0 for Lexical Resource.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
Grammatical control is weak throughout the essay, with a very limited range of structures. Simple sentences are often grammatically flawed, and attempts at more complex sentences result in severe errors that frequently distort meaning, such as 'many individuals has been massive increased' and 'its cannot properly seen in socities and cities.' Subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and prepositions are mishandled in almost every sentence. Because errors are frequent and constantly strain the reader's understanding, the performance corresponds to a Band 4.0.
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