Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In many Countries worldwide, citizens tend to live more than before. The disadvantages of this may be that the government bear their expenses which may be a burden on public money. Despite that, I beleive that elderly people are the wisdom of a nation and their presence can be beneficial for the society.
On the one hand, a proportion of people argue that aging citizens in a country are creating issues for the government. It is believed that since the state has to bear the costs associated with aged people, it also put burden on public money, this creates impediments for the government to utilize funds effectively. For instance, the government has to provide pension funds, pay for the old age home since many old citizens live their and pay for hospital bills in many cases on behalf of the patients. These financial obligations put uneccessary burden on the government impeding it to use exchequer money in other areas.
On the other hand, people argue that elderly citizens are beneficial in a society. The presence of senior citizens in a society help youngsters to make more informed decisions due to their vast experience. For example, schools and colleges are there to educate and make people learn about day to day affairs of life, but an elder's presence helps taking decisions based on wisdom. It is also oberserved that the government sometimes rely on appointing retirees to take decision based on their exposure and experience.
To conclude it, the advantages elderly citizens living longer outweighs the disadvantages. Although the aging of population may be challenging for the government, the presence of senior citizens certainly play a pivitol role in shaping a society.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both the disadvantages (such as government financial burdens like pensions and healthcare costs) and the benefits (such as wisdom and guidance from senior citizens). A clear position is stated in the introduction and reinforced in the conclusion. The ideas are generally relevant and extended, although some supporting points could be further elaborated with more specific global examples rather than generalisations. For instance, the mention of schools and colleges in the second body paragraph is slightly convoluted. However, the writer successfully responds to the prompt's requirement to weigh the advantages against the disadvantages. Overall, the task is adequately fulfilled, corresponding to a Band 6.5 or solid Band 6 descriptor level.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay displays a clear overall arrangement with a logical division into paragraphs: an introduction, two body paragraphs representing opposing views, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are employed to signal transitions, such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'To conclude it'. However, referencing and cohesion occasionally feel a bit mechanical or imprecise, such as 'live their' (instead of 'live there') in the first body paragraph and 'To conclude it' rather than standard phrasing like 'In conclusion'. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but logical progression within sentences can occasionally be tightened for smoother reading. These features place the response firmly in the Band 6 category.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'impediments', 'exchequer money', and 'pivitol'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout the text, including 'Countries' (capitalised mid-sentence), 'beleive', 'uneccessary', 'oberserved', and 'pivitol' (pivotal). Additionally, phraseology like 'live more than before' lacks precision compared to 'live longer'. While communication is not impeded by these inaccuracies, the frequency of spelling slips and minor lexical inaccuracies prevents the essay from reaching a higher band, making Band 6 an accurate reflection of lexical control.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over subordinate clauses and conditional structures. There are, however, several grammatical errors and punctuation lapses. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues like 'the government bear their expenses' (governments bear/government bears), dangling modifiers or awkward phrasing such as 'an elder's presence helps taking decisions', and comma splices or run-on tendencies in sentences like 'It is believed that since the state has to bear the costs associated with aged people, it also put burden on public money, this creates impediments...'. Despite these errors, meaning is generally clear, matching the profile of Band 6 where a mix of structures exists alongside recurring grammatical mistakes.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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