Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In numerous countries, there is a trend of people living longer lives than before. Many people argue that the government will face difficulties regarding an aging population, while there is still a huge number of people who believe the elderly can contribute to the society. In my opinion, although managing the resources for older people can be problematic for the authorities, the experience and persona they carry outweigh the disadvantages.

Many countries consider elderly people as a valuable source for the growth of their businesses. They have spent their entire lives working and gaining experience from their professional as well as personal routines. They can contribute to the societies in two ways. First, by teaching the youth and middle-aged men what they have learned. So, they can also apply those skills in their daily life. Second, they have an influential personality, making them respectable in the society. Children consider them a role model, and they do what they see them doing. For example, Asian people rely on the elderly a lot, as their decision-making is top-notch.

On the other hand, it creates an increasing number of problems for the government, such as managing the healthcare resources. Most elderly are equipped with multiple diseases, and to provide them the medicines and hospital facilities, the government had to provide them by going out of the budget. Moreover, many organizations consider older people as a burden in their businesses because they are unable to work properly due to aging factors. For instance, companies in the Middle East are forcing their experienced employees to retire early so they can allocate the resources accordingly.

In conclusion, sometimes the authorities had to increase the budget to manage the aged people, but their decision-making and personality can bring value-addition to the community.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear position throughout. The introduction outlines both sides and clearly states the writer's opinion that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Body paragraphs discuss both the benefits, such as professional experience and mentorship, and the drawbacks, including healthcare strain and early retirement pressures. Ideas are generally extended and supported with relevant examples, such as referencing Asian family structures and Middle Eastern companies. However, some arguments tend to over-generalize, such as stating that 'Most elderly are equipped with multiple diseases,' which slightly limits the depth of development. Overall, the task is well addressed, satisfying the criteria for Band 6.5 to 7.0, and is best placed at Band 6.5 due to minor generalisations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay displays a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Information and ideas are arranged coherently with an introduction, two distinct body paragraphs covering contrasting viewpoints, and a brief conclusion. Cohesive devices are used reasonably well, such as 'On the other hand' and 'Moreover,' guiding the reader smoothly through the arguments. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, with each paragraph focusing on a central theme. However, referencing is occasionally imprecise, such as using pronouns like 'they' and 'them' ambiguously when referring to both elderly people and governments in close proximity. Despite minor mechanical cohesive issues, the overall arrangement is clear, supporting a solid Band 7.0 score.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate to sufficient range of vocabulary for the task. Less common lexical items are attempted, such as 'persona,' 'top-notch,' and 'value-addition.' However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, describing older individuals as having an 'influential persona' or stating they are 'equipped with multiple diseases' sounds unnatural; 'afflicted with' or 'prone to' would be more appropriate collocations. Similarly, 'going out of the budget' is awkward phrasing compared to 'exceeding the budget.' Spelling is generally accurate, and vocabulary errors do not impede communication. These characteristics align well with the Band 6.0 descriptors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over grammar. Complex structures are attempted successfully in places, such as 'Many people argue that the government will face difficulties regarding an aging population, while there is still a huge number of people who believe...' However, there are noticeable grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'the government had to provide them by going out of the budget,' where tense consistency and prepositions are flawed. Additionally, subject-verb agreement slips occur, as seen in 'sometimes the authorities had to increase the budget.' Punctuation is generally functional, but errors persist. Because communication is rarely impeded despite these mistakes, the performance fits the Band 6.0 level.

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