Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

overall their are both advantages and disadvantages of aging population in country from my side i want to express this type of situation point wise.

first i want to discuss advantages of old age population in country.

if a country have more population of old age people so it means that country have more experienced people in all sector if any ountry have experienced population in their profficion like enginneering sector , doctor , teachers , and profficers so it mean we are in safe place of working in country and the population of old age person can their country to remain increasing order in contust of gdp and many more ways. And per person incomeis also get boost like europian countries and like japan these country are comming in old aage country in contust of population age because they have experienced person in their country and these country have also high gdp and per person income.

but in comes of disadvantages their are many pionts for old age population.

If a country have old age population and shortage of young age population so their are so many disadvantages because young age mind helps the country to become super power means to develop more in all te sectors we need younger population not old age population also that aike in india the age of country is approx 25 and they help india to become powerful in all sactors like in infrastructure and in IT sector also in construvtion sector. In all of that points they also decrease our money because old age persons need pension after retirement so that's why old age have also disadvantages.

conclusion from my side. Aging population have advanantages and also disadvantages because i am from india and all political leaders having more that 50 plus ages and my profficers are also more than 50 so from my perspective the average is good for us like the total average of population of 25-30.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population, offering a stance that a balanced average is best. However, the development of ideas is limited and somewhat repetitive. The student mentions economic factors such as GDP, per capita income, and retirement pensions, alongside examples like Japan and India. While these points are relevant, they remain underdeveloped and rely on broad assertions rather than deep elaboration. The structure of the essay departs significantly from standard academic conventions, lacking proper introduction and conclusion paragraphs. Despite these limitations, the prompt's core question is addressed, positioning the response within the Band 5 descriptors, where the task is addressed, but the position is not always clearly maintained and ideas remain under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

Coherence and cohesion are major weaknesses in this response. The essay lacks traditional paragraphing, consisting instead of a messy block of text with arbitrary line breaks and conversational transitions like 'overall their are', 'first i want to discuss', and 'conclusion from my side'. There is a complete absence of standard punctuation, capitalisation, and formal cohesive devices, making the logical progression difficult to follow. Pronoun referencing is frequently unclear, such as 'these country are comming in old aage country in contust of population age'. These significant flaws in organisation and the lack of standard layout restrict the score to Band 4.0, as information and ideas are not arranged coherently and paragraphing is absent.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The student demonstrates a basic vocabulary range suitable for expressing simple ideas about economy, employment, and age demographics, using terms such as 'experienced people', 'infrastructure', 'IT sector', and 'pension'. However, there are numerous severe lexical and spelling errors throughout the text, including 'profficion' instead of profession, 'enginneering', 'europian', 'comming', 'contust' instead of context, 'pionts', and 'sactors'. Word choice is frequently awkward or unidiomatic, such as 'safe place of working' and 'decrease our money'. Due to the frequency of spelling errors and inaccurate word choices that occasionally cause strain for the reader, the response aligns with Band 4.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The grammatical range is extremely limited, relying almost entirely on repetitive, run-on structures joined by coordinating conjunctions like 'and' or 'so' without appropriate punctuation. There is a complete lack of periods, commas, and capital letters, resulting in a single continuous stream of consciousness rather than distinct sentences. Grammatical errors are pervasive throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('their are both advantages', 'country have', 'per person incomeis'), incorrect verb tenses, and missing articles. Because errors are frequent, continuous, and heavily impede the grammatical structure of the writing, the performance fits the Band 4.0 descriptor, where errors are frequent and meaning is occasionally distorted by poor punctuation and grammar.

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