Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is often argued that people in many countries are now living longer than before. Some people believe that an ageing population creates problems for governments, while others think that there are positive aspects to having more elderly people in society. I agree with the latter view because an ageing population can bring several benefits to society.
On the one hand, aging population creates some problems for government. Firstly, government may have to spend more money on healthcare and pensions of old people.This can put financial pressure on public services. Secondly, it may can put pressure on families because elder people need daily care for their health. It can increase responsibility of families. Thirdly, retired old people depends on younger people for their health.
On the second hand, having elderly people also bring several benefits in society. Older people usually have valuable knowledge and experience, which they can share with younger generation. Older people have experience in many fields which can be beneficial for society and economy. Older people can emotionally and practically support their families with their life experience. Older people can become a childcare as grandparents. Healthy older people can do some part-time job to financially support their family and to fulfil their own expenses.
In conclusion, although an ageing population can place financial pressure on governments and reduce the size of the workforce, I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because elderly people can provide valuable experience and support to their families, which are far better than disadvantages.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The student addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the problems and the benefits of an ageing population, and a clear position is stated throughout the response. In the introduction, the writer states, 'I agree with the latter view because an ageing population can bring several benefits to society.' The body paragraphs provide relevant arguments for both sides, examining government expenditure, family pressure, and the valuable contributions of elderly individuals. However, some ideas are a bit repetitive and under-developed, particularly when discussing how older people help families and the economy. To reach a higher band, the main points should be extended with more specific examples or deeper analysis. Nevertheless, the requirements of the prompt are adequately met, corresponding to a Band 6.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response features a coherent overall arrangement with a clear paragraph-by-paragraph structure, including a proper introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The writer uses standard cohesive devices and transition signals to guide the reader, such as 'On the one hand', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion'. However, there are some flaws in cohesion and phrasing; for example, the transition 'On the second hand' is non-standard and should be 'On the other hand'. Referencing is also occasionally repetitive, with phrases like 'Older people' starting multiple consecutive sentences. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, but the mechanical nature of the linking devices pulls the score to a Band 6.0.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'financial pressure', 'part-time job', and 'ageing population'. However, there are notable lexical errors and unnatural word choices throughout the text. For instance, the writer uses 'elder people' instead of 'elderly people' or 'the elderly', and writes 'become a childcare as grandparents' which is grammatically and lexically awkward. Furthermore, repetitive phrasing such as the frequent reuse of 'older people' limits the lexical flexibility. Because the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey meaning despite these errors, this warrants a Band 6.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with the writer attempting various structures to express ideas, such as 'Although an ageing population can place financial pressure on governments... I believe that...'. However, there are several noticeable grammatical errors, particularly involving articles, subject-verb agreement, and pluralization. Examples include 'aging population creates' (missing an article), 'government may have to spend' (singular instead of plural or missing article), 'elder people need' (adjective-noun confusion), and 'retired old people depends' (agreement error). Punctuation errors are also present, such as missing spaces after periods. These errors occur frequently but rarely impede communication, placing the grammar at a Band 5.5.
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