Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
the life expectancy rate of grey-haired citizens has been increased dramatically in all over the world. it is argued by many it creates an issue for governments. while others believe that there are several advantageous of elderly people. to a great extent i believe that it's merits overlap drawbacks.
To commence with advantages, preservation of culture. In other words, the old peoples have abundance if unparallel wisdom which they can share to there generations to maintain the culture and prevent it from extinction. moreover, old people have unique techniques such as treatment of injury by using natural herbs. there is no match in this contemporary era. for example, in india, rajasthan there is a tribe who use oak tree bark to cure chronic diseases efficentally that can not be treat by modern medications. Therefore, it not only help to maintain the unique identity of individuals by preserving their culture but it also help peoples with there ancient time skills.
shifting toward drawbacks. over exploitation of money. to explicate it, grey-haired people generally need proper fulfilment of basic needs like daily attire, proper medical support and healthy meals. which put financial burden of overall nation economy. in addition, massive contribution for pension because the old retired peoples require great amount of money which put goverment into economic stress. for instance, in india 2012 for fulfilment of pension for miltary retired peoples goverment came into stree after market collapsed
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response attempts to address both aspects of the prompt regarding the problems and benefits of an aging population, stating a clear position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. However, the task achievement is heavily compromised by the word count falling short of the 250-word minimum, containing only 237 words. Furthermore, while the ideas are relevant, some development is limited and relies on sweeping generalisations or anecdotes rather than fully substantiated analysis. For instance, the mention of an Indian tribe using oak bark is a very narrow specific example that is not well integrated into a broader academic discussion. As a result, the task is only partially addressed in terms of breadth and depth, leading to a band score of 5.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay displays some basic organisational structure with discernible opening, body, and concluding thoughts, though paragraphing is poorly executed. The introduction is fragmented into multiple single-sentence lines without proper integration, and sentences frequently start in lowercase. Cohesive devices are minimal, mechanical, and sometimes misused, such as 'shifting toward drawbacks' and 'to explicate it'. Logical progression between sentences is occasionally broken, and referencing is weak, leaving the reader to connect ideas independently. Overall, the essay lacks smooth transitions and fails to maintain a clear, unified progression throughout the text, corresponding to a band 5.0.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The student attempts some less common vocabulary such as 'life expectancy rate', 'preservation of culture', and 'over exploitation of money', but these are undermined by frequent lexical inaccuracies, awkward collocations, and word form errors. Examples include 'advantageous' used as a noun, 'abundance if unparallel wisdom', 'efficentally', and 'miltary retired peoples'. Spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable throughout the text, though they rarely impede overall communication entirely. The vocabulary range remains somewhat limited and repetitive, which is typical of a band 5.0 performance.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The grammatical range is restricted. While there are a few attempts at complex structures, they are frequently faulty, incomplete, or punctuated incorrectly. The text lacks capitalisation at the start of sentences, and there are many sentence fragments, such as 'preservation of culture.' and 'shifting toward drawbacks.' Grammatical errors are highly frequent, including subject-verb agreement issues ('grey-haired citizens has been increased', 'old peoples have', 'goverment into stree') and preposition errors ('share to there generations'). These errors cause noticeable difficulty and strain for the reader, placing this response firmly in the band 5.0 category.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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