Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In few countries, individuals are now living longer than the previous generation. While, other believes that if population increase it creates issues for government. Some individuals also argues that it is very beneficial fo society.
Firstly, it seemed that aging people was creating a problems for government. For example, governments should provided facilities to those people. They have several health issues so the goverment should paid the higher salries to the docters. Government should also intoduced new rules and regulation for old individuals. There are several issues for the goverment for an aging populaion.
Secondly, it is observed that there are also several benefits of elderly people in a society. For instance, it is noticed that elder people knew very well of our ancestors or forefathers so they come to know who they are, what they did in their life and how they spent their time in different activities. Furthermore, individuals also knew about our culture and moral values it is best way to be gaining knowledge of their lifes. Additionally, people also knew about our religious value from the elder people they spent their time with them and they feel very relax and calm it is a form of relaxation from daily life activities so it is ver benifical for our society.
In conclusion, I agreed that elder people creates problems for goverment but from those people we came to knew about past and traditional values. Overall, the time people were spent with their grandfather and grand mother is a best time of their whole life
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt regarding the problems and benefits of an aging population, attempting an overall perspective on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. However, the development of ideas is limited and somewhat repetitive. For instance, the discussion on disadvantages focuses almost entirely on government spending on health and regulations without deep elaboration. Similarly, the advantages focus heavily on cultural and religious values passed down by grandparents. While a position is discernible, the ideas are under-developed, placing the response within the Band 5 criteria for Task Achievement. The student does manage to meet the minimum word count requirement, so no length penalty is applied, but the conceptual depth needs expansion to reach higher bands.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay is organised into four paragraphs with basic signposting devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion'. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by awkward transitions and poor referencing. For example, sentences like 'For example, governments should provided facilities to those people' lack clear cohesive ties to what precedes them, and referencing pronouns such as 'they' and 'their' are often ambiguous, making it difficult to track who is being referred to (e.g., 'they come to know who they are'). Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion is mechanical and inadequate in places, aligning the response with Band 4.5 to 5.0, rounded to 5.0 based on overall structural layout.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, frequently relying on simple words like 'people', 'issues', and 'benefits'. There are noticeable word-choice and spelling errors that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, such as 'docters', 'intoduced', 'salries', and 'ver benifical'. Attempts to use less common lexis, such as 'ancestors', 'forefathers', and 'traditional values', are hindered by inaccurate collocation and phrasing (e.g., 'begaing knowledge of their lifes'). The lexical range is minimally adequate for the task, meeting the descriptors for Band 5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writing demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent attempts at complex forms that are often faulty. There are numerous grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('aging people was creating a problems'), tense inconsistencies ('the goverment should paid the higher salries'), and missing articles. Punctuation is also weak, with run-on sentences lacking appropriate separation (e.g., 'Furthermore, individuals also knew about our culture and moral values it is best way...'). Because errors are frequent and occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, the grammar profile fits Band 5.
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