Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In many countries people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population cretes problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if socity has more elderly people. I belive the befits outweigh the drawbacks, provided that scoities plan carefully.

The main disadvantage is economic. As the number of retirees grows,governments must spend more on pensons and health care, while a smaller workforce pays the taxes that fund them. Japan is a clear example, where rising medical costs and labour shortages have strianed public budgets. In addition older peopleoften need longer term care which canplace a heavy burden on families and heath systems.

However an againg population also offers important advantages. Firstly older citizens bring exprience and skills that younger workers lack.Many countries to work part-time mentor young colleages or run small businesses which keeps valuable knowledge inside the economy . Secondly,elderly people contribute to society through volunteering and childcare. In india for instance grand parents often look after their grand children,allowing both parents to work. This unpaid support save families money and strengthens community bonds. Finally older people are growing consumer group and industries such as tourism, health care and leisure benefits fro their spending.

On the other hand the problems of aging can be reduced through sensible policies. Raising the retirement age gradually encouraging flexible work for seniors and investing in preventive healthcare would ease the cost of pensions and medical care whie making use of older peoples abilities.

In conclusional althrough an aging poplution raises the cost of pensions and health care as long as government adapt their policies to make good use of older citizens

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the problems and benefits of an aging population, and presents a clear position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, provided societies plan carefully. Key ideas are well-developed and supported with relevant examples, such as Japan's economic strain and India's reliance on grandparents for childcare. The arguments are extended logically across the paragraphs, leading to a coherent discussion of the topic. While the conclusion is noticeably cut off due to the unfinished final sentence, the main body paragraphs and introduction establish a sufficiently developed position and fulfill the core requirements of the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay is logically organised with a clear overall progression. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, moving smoothly from the introduction and the disadvantages to the advantages, followed by policy solutions. Cohesive devices are used adequately to signal transitions, such as 'The main disadvantage', 'However', and 'Secondly'. However, there are minor issues with cohesion and punctuation, such as missing commas after transitional phrases and spacing errors between words. Paragraphing is generally appropriate, although the incomplete concluding sentence detracts slightly from the overall structural unity. Referencing is mostly clear, allowing the reader to follow the train of thought easily throughout the text.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common lexical items such as 'preventive healthcare', 'labour shortages', and 'volunteerism concepts'. However, there are numerous typographical and spelling errors throughout the text, including 'cretes' instead of 'creates', 'socity' instead of 'society', 'belive' instead of 'believe', 'befits' instead of 'benefits', 'scoities' instead of 'societies', 'pensons' instead of 'pensions', 'strianed' instead of 'strained', 'exprience' instead of 'experience', 'colleages' instead of 'colleagues', and 'conclusional althrough' instead of 'In conclusion, although'. While these spelling slips do not severely impede communication, their frequency prevents the lexical score from reaching higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over conditional structures, such as 'provided that societies plan carefully' and 'as long as governments adapt their policies'. There are several grammatical errors and punctuation lapses, such as missing commas in introductory clauses, run-on phrases like 'In addition older peopleoften need', and missing articles. Furthermore, punctuation is frequently neglected, particularly around commas and apostrophes. Despite these errors, the complex structures are generally understandable, and communication is rarely impeded by the grammatical slips.

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