Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The population in most parts of the world is ageing people are living longer and there are fewer younger people in many places as birth rates fall.This phenomenon has pron and cons, but this essay will content that, on balance the advantages of having an older population outweigh the negatives.

The first issue that occours to maany people when considering the ageing population is the expence. If people live longer, they may have more than 30 years of retiremnent and may need to be supported financially by the government on their families. If they experience age -related illness, this impacts the health system and takes up resources needed by other people in society.

What's more when older people financially independent, it might be hard for younger people if they have to compete to get a foot in the door of housing market or gain employment.

that being said, older people have a lot of contribute in terms of wisdom, experience and skills. many people are active and productive for longer then their counterperts where 50 years ago and are an asset to the economy and society well into their old age. they are able to work for longer and after retiremnetnthey contribute in many ways too such as by doing charitable work, spending money as consumers and supporting their families.

grandparent often care for their young grandchildren, making it easier for both parents to work.

While it is true that an ageing population poses challenges for government s, it is clear that these are outweighed by the significant benefits that elderly people bring to society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the problems and the benefits of an ageing population, and a clear position is presented in the introduction ("this essay will content that, on balance the advantages of having an older population outweigh the negatives") and reiterated in the conclusion. The ideas are generally relevant, covering economic costs, healthcare, housing competition, wisdom, contributions through work, and grandparental childcare. However, some points tend to be somewhat general and could have been further extended or supported with more specific examples. Despite these minor limitations, the main aspects of the prompt are satisfactorily covered, aligning with the criteria for Band 6.5 or a solid Band 6.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and conclusion. Paragraphing is utilised to separate the disadvantages in the second and third paragraphs from the advantages in the fourth and fifth paragraphs. However, cohesive devices are sometimes faulty, mechanical, or entirely missing due to numerous punctuation and run-on sentence errors (e.g., "ageing people are living longer"). Referencing is generally clear, but the lack of proper punctuation between clauses disrupts the logical flow at times. Cohesion within paragraphs could be smoother with more varied transition signals, placing this aspect squarely at Band 6.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common terms such as "phenomenon," "financially independent," "charitable work," and "consumer." However, there are frequent spelling errors ("ageing" is fine, but "pron" instead of pros, "occours", "maany", "expence", "retiremnent", "retiremnetnthey") and awkward word choices ("this essay will content that" instead of contend, "a lot of contribute" instead of a lot to contribute). While these errors do not impede overall communication, they restrict the lexical score to a Band 5.5 or 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, such as conditional and concessive structures ("If people live longer, they may..."; "While it is true that..."). Nevertheless, control over grammar and punctuation is weak. There are several run-on sentences and comma splices in the opening paragraph and body paragraphs. Grammatical errors also occur, such as missing prepositions or incorrect verb forms ("then their counterperts where 50 years ago"). Punctuation is frequently neglected, which places significant strain on the reader. Consequently, these grammatical issues align with a Band 5.0 descriptor.

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