Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, in a number of nations, individuals are now living longer than past, elderly people creats problems for government.On the contrary, there are benefits if society has more aging population. In this essay , I will discuss advantage such as economy growth and business expansion outclass the disadvantage.

To commerce with, there are numerous benefits behind this. first and foremost is economic growth. To explicate it, when society has more aging population, which increase the overall workforce of country. Consequently, older people easily pay annual taxes , which leads to increase the revenue of government. Hence it leads to economic growth.

In addition, the second advantage is it leads to business expansion. Because it is not only leads to economic growth but also help to business in expansion. owing to older people have more experience and creative innovations, which helps in business to adopt various changes and meet with environmentel fluctuations. for example B.B.C news reported that in USA a large number of older adults were participated in business activities, which helps in business to earn more profit.

On the contrary, it as some downsides as well, the major drawback behind this is high government investment. To explain it, although older individuals have only do rest at time without doing any kind of job , which require government sports. Consequently, which increase the expenditure of authorities. As a result, older people only depend on the government, which its to reduction in national income.

In conclusion, it is apparent from the above discussion that, although people are now living longer than before it helps in business growth and economic development. Yet it also leads to low the income of government.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response attempts to address all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population, presenting a clear position that the advantages outweighing the disadvantages. However, the ideas are relatively undeveloped and unsupported. For instance, the argument regarding economic growth and business expansion through older workers is asserted rather than deeply explained or substantiated. The example regarding B.C.C. news is vague and contains logical inconsistencies regarding older adults participating in business and bringing creative innovations, which borders on over-generalisation. Furthermore, the discussion of disadvantages lacks depth, focusing simplistically on government expenditure. While the task is addressed, the limited development and superficial supporting examples place this response firmly in the band 5.0 range, as ideas remain somewhat limited and under-developed throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay displays some basic organisation with clear paragraphing, including an introduction, body paragraphs addressing both sides, and a conclusion. However, there is a lack of clear overall progression and logical flow. Cohesive devices are frequently misused, awkward, or mechanically applied, such as 'To commerce with' instead of 'To commence with' or 'To begin with', and repetitive transitions like 'To explain it' and 'Consequently'. Referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly in sentences like 'owing to older people have more experience and creative innovations, which helps in business to adopt various changes', which creates choppy and disconnected reading. Paragraph transitions do not always guide the reader smoothly through the argument, resulting in an overall arrangement that aligns with band 5.0 characteristics.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, with noticeable errors that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. The student attempts less common vocabulary such as 'environmental fluctuations' and 'business expansion', but these are often undermined by word choice and collocation errors, such as 'creats problems', 'aging population' misused in places, and 'government sports' instead of 'government support'. Furthermore, there are awkward phrasing issues like 'lead to low the income' and 'do rest at time'. While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey basic points about the economy and government expenditure, the frequency of lexical errors and restricted range prevent the response from achieving a higher band, making 5.0 the most accurate descriptor.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The essay relies on a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty and ungrammatical. There are persistent errors in basic grammar, subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'elderly people creats', 'older people have... which helps'), tense consistency, and punctuation. For example, clauses are often strung together incorrectly without proper subordination, as seen in 'owing to older people have more experience... which helps in business to adopt'. Punctuation is also problematic, with missing spaces after commas and periods. Frequent structural errors cause strain for the reader throughout the text, corresponding well to the band 5.0 descriptor where frequent grammatical errors are present and complex structures are often faulty.

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