Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
In many countries, people are now living longer than expected to ever before. While some argue that an ageing population creates problems for the government, others believe that elderly people are essential to society. I believe that the pressure on healthcare and economical costs means the disadvantages far outweighs the advantages.
On the one hand, the ageing population causes significant challenges to the government. Firstly, it causes a huge strain to the healthcare system by taking up the resource meant to go round different age groups. As people depreciate in age, so is their health which leads to constant hospital visitation and attention. In most cases, they require money-consuming care that drains the government. Secondly, increase number
of the elderly causes labour shortage in the society because they do not engage in work anymore. The strength of the younger ones are needed to work and further increase the economy which is not found in senior citizens. For example, a community filled with
older people would end up spending more on their health without having a way to recover it. This shows
that having more older generation is detrimental to the government and society.
On the other hand, there is a clear social benefit that involves the aging population guiding the younger ones. The elderly educates and directs the path of the people because they are filled with wisdom and are more experienced than the others. They lecture them from their personal experiences in order to help them conform to societal norms. For instance, a society with more elderly people have younger ones with good approach to life. However, this single benefit is not enough to outshine the challenges outlined.
In conclusion, although having more elderly population brings out good values among the young people, they pose a lot of risk to the healthcare and economy of the nation.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
The response addresses all parts of the task and maintains a clear position throughout, stating that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. The main ideas are relevant, such as the strain on healthcare and labour shortages for the disadvantages, and social guidance for the advantage. However, some ideas tend to be slightly repetitive or under-developed, such as the broad statement 'depreciate in age' and the rather brief treatment of the social benefit. Supporting examples are provided, like 'a community filled with older people,' but they remain somewhat generalized. This performance aligns well with the Band 6.5 descriptor, which requires addressing all parts of the task with a clear position and relevant ideas, though some development can be limited.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The essay has a clear overall progression and is divided into logical paragraphs with distinct introductions to the body paragraphs ('On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'In conclusion'). Cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'For example' are used to structure the arguments, though referencing and transitional phrases can occasionally feel a bit mechanical ('the ageing population causes significant challenges...'). Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different perspectives. Overall, the organization is coherent and easy to follow, justifying a solid Band 6.5 score.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully using terms like 'ageing population', 'labour shortage', 'societal norms', and 'detrimental'. However, there are noticeable lexical inaccuracies and awkward collocations, such as 'people depreciate in age' (instead of deteriorate in health or age), 'money-consuming care' (instead of costly care), and 'increase number' (instead of increased number). Spelling and word formation errors do not impede communication, placing the response firmly at Band 6.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures and relative clauses ('a community filled with older people would end up spending...'). However, there are frequent grammatical errors and lapses in agreement, such as 'the disadvantages far outweighs' (subject-verb agreement), 'so is their health' (awkward inversion), and 'the elderly educates' (singular/plural mismatch). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but grammatical control is inconsistent, which is characteristic of the Band 6 descriptor.
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