Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays , people are living longer as compare to before . many people claim that there are brnifits if society has more elderly however, i believe aging population create several problems for goverment.

First of all, it is worth considering that aged people create several challanges for government such as government has to give the old age pension this is only because they is not any ROI of this investement moreover birth rate is 40000 childs a days and death ratio is one third of it approximately 15000 due to rising population people need more place for accodomation ultimately for housing goverment has to cut down more trees which will lead many problems afterall they cant contribute to growth of india.

however, it is undeniable that aged people are routes of country we are living freedomly just because of their contribution and sacrifice and everything is not for profit aged people transfer their experience and they way to do work we add new things in it they give us base . although, is unforgetten that as we seeing todays era competition india lacking in that if the will be less aged people they will no income spanditure on them and that money can invest on anyother thing which will contribute in gdp hrowth.

In conclusion , weighing up both the sides of the arguments i firmly believe that disadvantages of ages people outweigh its disadvantages . money which governments is investing on aged people that can be invested on many more things whic

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response attempts to address the prompt regarding whether the advantages of an aging population outweigh the disadvantages, taking a clear position that the disadvantages are greater. However, the development of ideas is limited and somewhat confused. The student touches upon government pensions and economic growth, but drifts into irrelevant details about birth and death rates, and housing pressures related to population growth in general rather than specifically focusing on an aging demographic. While a position is presented, the arguments lack sufficient extension and logical support, aligning best with Band 5 where the task is addressed only partially and ideas remain under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The essay displays significant weaknesses in coherence and cohesion. There is a complete lack of proper sentence boundaries, capitalisation, and standard paragraphing conventions, as the text is largely structured as continuous, run-on blocks with erratic punctuation (e.g., 'Nowadays , people are living longer as compare to before .'). Cohesive devices are minimal or misused, with repetitive transitions like 'however' and 'First of all'. While there is a loose grouping of ideas, the lack of clear logical progression and mechanical errors in referencing impede the overall readability of the text, placing it firmly within the Band 4 descriptor.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with frequent spelling and word-choice errors that occasionally strain the reader. Examples include 'brnifits' for benefits, 'challanges' for challenges, 'accodomation' for accommodation, 'freedomly' for freely, and 'spanditure' for expenditure. The student attempts some topic-specific vocabulary related to economics and demographics, such as 'pension', 'investment', and 'gdp', but the persistent lexical inaccuracies and limited range restrict the score to a Band 4, as the vocabulary is insufficient to convey precise meaning smoothly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

Grammatical control is weak throughout the response. The text consists largely of complex thoughts crammed into massive run-on sentences joined by commas rather than proper subordination or conjunctions (e.g., 'moreover birth rate is 40000 childs a days and death ratio is one third of it approximately 15000 due to rising population people need more place...'). There are frequent errors in verb forms, plurals ('childs', 'ages people'), articles, and basic sentence structures. Because errors are very frequent and frequently distort meaning or cause difficulty for the reader, this performance corresponds to a Band 4.

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