Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Longer life expectancy has been clearly seen now in different locations comparing before. It has been a debate now if this older generations is beneficial to society or has been a burden.
Oldies can been an advantage if they have families with them to look after and provide financially. New generations are elated and emotional to keep their grannies alive.
On the other part, it becomes a problem when the aged people has left alone by themselves and no one will care of them. They can be a serious issue when they end up sick for example having dementia and alzeihmers disease that needs hospitalisation.
In my opinion, if the retirement has been well planned since before, it will not be an issue for the old people to extend their life because it they enough resources and financial equipt they will not end up beggars outside .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The student attempts to address the prompt regarding the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population, but the response falls severely short of the minimum word count requirement, clocking in at only 147 words against the required 250 words. Because of this significant under-length violation, the ideas are underdeveloped and lack the necessary extension and support expected for an Academic Task 2 essay. The position is stated simplistically in the introduction and conclusion, but the arguments remain superficial, mentioning family support and medical burdens without sufficient elaboration or relevant examples. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed, which heavily restricts the band score under the official descriptors.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The essay is divided into short, single-sentence or two-sentence paragraphs, demonstrating an extremely basic approach to paragraphing. Cohesion within and between sentences is often faulty or mechanical. For instance, the transition 'On the other part' is unnatural and inaccurate. Referencing is also problematic, as seen in vague pronoun use such as 'when the aged people has left alone by themselves and no one will care of them'. While there is a rudimentary overall arrangement attempting to cover both advantages and disadvantages, the lack of adequate cohesive devices and proper logical progression prevents the text from reaching higher bands.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, featuring frequent inappropriate word choices and collocations. Examples include 'Older generations' being referred to as 'Oldies', and the phrase 'financial equipt', which is a severe lexical error. Other non-standard phrases like 'elated and emotional to keep their grannies alive' demonstrate a limited and minimally adequate range. Spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'alzeihmers disease' and 'has left alone', are noticeable throughout the text and occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, aligning the vocabulary profile closely with a Band 5 descriptor.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
Grammatical control is weak, with a very limited range of sentence structures and frequent errors. There are numerous basic agreement and tense errors, such as 'this older generations is beneficial' and 'the aged people has left alone'. The attempt at a conditional structure in the final paragraph ('if the retirement has been well planned since before, it will not be an issue...') is faulty in both form and expression ('if it they enough resources'). Punctuation and phrasing errors are recurrent, causing frequent difficulty and strain for the reader, which firmly places this response at Band 4.0 for grammar.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.