Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Life span of people has increased in many countries as compared to the past. Some individuals argues that elderly people are burden on government, while some believes that senior citizens are beneficial for society. This essay will discuss about the merits and demerits of having aging population in the society.

In many countries, the population of elderly people has significantly increased from past few years, like in Japan and Italy. Elderly people play crucial role for the development of society in many ways. They can contribute in the better upbringing of children by sharing their life experiences. They can teach us our values and culture that is eradicating in the society with the development of technology and exposure to other cultures. In the field of education, the person with who have more expertise in science and history can provide mentorship to the pupils and other educationists. For example, when we talk about history they can share the incidents which they have witnessed with their eyes.

On the other hand when we talk about disadvantages of having more elderly people in the society, we cannot neglect the fact that government has to provide more facilities in transport and medical. Government need to allocate some special places for them to travel because they need extra assistance. In healthcare department it is difficult for hospitals to provide more beds to elders and more funds will needed for their medication. Many people do not keep their elders with them in their homes so more old homes are required in the city to accommodate them, which can cause problem in the cities due to less space available.

In conclusion, we can not neglect the positive outcome of having elders in society because they are good source of stay connected to our cultural roots and traditional values. However in some countries they put extra burden on government to arrange funds for them to facilitate them, due to this young people will not get enough finances for their required facilities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population, and briefly provides a conclusion on the overall extent. However, the position is not always clearly sustained throughout, and some ideas remain limited and under-developed. For instance, the point regarding education and mentorship is raised with the phrase 'the person with who have more expertise in science and history can provide mentorship', but the explanation quickly trails off without strong supporting examples. Similarly, the disadvantages concerning healthcare and housing are mentioned generally—such as 'more funds will needed for their medication'—without sufficient elaboration or deep exploration. To reach the next level, all ideas need to be fully extended and supported with relevant, well-integrated examples, ensuring a more thorough exploration of how the advantages outweigh or do not outweigh the disadvantages.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, body paragraphs addressing separate sides of the argument, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to separate distinct points, such as the benefits in one paragraph and the drawbacks in the next. However, cohesion at times feels mechanical or faulty due to repetitive phrasing and basic linking devices like 'On the other hand' and 'In conclusion'. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, such as in the final sentence where 'due to this young people will not get enough finances' links ideas rather loosely. To achieve higher bands, the writer should employ a wider and more flexible range of cohesive devices and ensure that referencing is precise and natural throughout the text.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common terms such as 'upbringing', 'eradicating', and 'accommodate'. However, there are noticeable lexical inaccuracies and awkward word choices that reflect a limited range, such as 'Elderly people play crucial role' (missing article), 'elderly people are burden' (missing article), and 'good source of stay connected'. Spelling is generally acceptable, but collocations and word forms occasionally falter, such as 'funds will needed' instead of 'funds will be needed'. To move up, the writer needs to demonstrate greater precision in word choice and collocation, utilizing less common lexical items with more natural control and stylistic awareness.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writing demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting complex structures like relative clauses ('culture that is eradicating in the society') and conditional-like contexts. However, there is a limited range of reliable structures, and frequent grammatical errors occur across the text. Issues include subject-verb agreement errors ('Some individuals argues', 'some believes'), missing articles ('is burden on government'), and prepositional errors within patterns ('good source of stay connected'). Punctuation is generally functional, but these persistent errors in grammar cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the response from securing a higher band. Incorporating more frequent error-free complex sentences will elevate this criterion.

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