Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is an ongoing debate amongst individuals that the proportion of people living in certain countries has been increased over the years.Some people argue that growth in population can create several problems for authorites. While others hold the view that having older people can be fruitful for a country.I consider that disadvantages of over population are more then its positive effects.

Firstly, population overflow can create accomodation problems for the residents. As increase in number of inhabitants occupie more space which can be difficult to provide on previusly populated areas. As a result government may face several obstacles to deal with this problem. For instance, in our society different people came after visiting all the cities and argue that they do not have house to live because no free space is acuqire by Lawmakers. Secondly those who belongs to older groups can have issues like memory loss and tierdness. AS a person

aged above sixty can hardly remember any important task. for instance an old man working in any employment sector of goverment can forget some crucial task which can cause serious damage to instetution

Secondly there are some advantages apart from it's drawbacks high percentage of people can represent a country globally. This can be done by showing a countries number as how many people are living there. By this a country can be recognize by other nations.For instance, india has highest percentage of individuals followed by china. However older people can have some positive affects on a particular society or a country. As they can share their experience to modern societies how to overcome the currrent problem and how to develop a new startegy. this can leave some useful impacts.

in conclusion older once can create housing problem by acquring certain accommodation by not giving others a chance to live in however old aged person can have several mental problems which may not helpful but they can share their usefull experience to manage any hurdle

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the task only partially, as it confuses an 'aging population' with general overpopulation throughout the essay. Rather than discussing the consequences of a high proportion of elderly people, the writer frequently discusses general population growth and high numbers of citizens, such as stating that 'population overflow can create accommodation problems' and mentioning India and China having the highest percentage of individuals. The writer does attempt to present a position and briefly mentions issues related to older groups, such as memory loss, but these ideas remain limited and under-developed. To move to a higher level, the writer must ensure that the arguments directly address the specific prompt regarding an aging population rather than general population density or size.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay displays some organization with basic paragraphing, but there is no clear overall progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are frequently inadequate, inaccurate, or overused, such as the repetitive and misused transitional markers 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' appearing multiple times, and the sentence starting with 'Secondly there are some advantages apart from it's drawbacks'. Referencing is also not always clear, leading to abrupt transitions between ideas, such as moving suddenly from housing shortages to elderly memory loss. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal paragraph cohesion is weak. To achieve a higher score, the writer needs to ensure logical sequencing between sentences and paragraphs, and use a wider variety of accurate cohesive devices to guide the reader smoothly through the arguments.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task, with noticeable errors that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. There are frequent lexical and spelling errors, such as 'authorites' instead of authorities, 'accomodation' instead of accommodation, 'previusly' instead of previously, 'acuqire' instead of acquired, 'tierdness' instead of tiredness, 'instetution' instead of institution, 'startegy' instead of strategy, and 'usefull' instead of useful. Furthermore, word choice is often inappropriate, such as 'population overflow' instead of population growth or density. To improve lexical resource, the writer needs to expand their vocabulary range, pay closer attention to standard spelling rules, and choose words that precisely fit the academic context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writing demonstrates a limited range of structures, relying mostly on simple sentences and attempts at complex sentences that are often faulty. There are frequent grammatical errors in verb forms, articles, prepositions, and plurals, which cause difficulty for the reader. Examples include 'the proportion of people living in certain countries has been increased' instead of has increased, 'disadvantages of over population are more then its positive effects' featuring a comparative error, 'occupie' instead of occupy, 'those who belongs' featuring subject-verb agreement errors, 'an old man working in any employment sector of goverment can forget' with missing articles, and 'older once can create' instead of older ones. To progress, the writer must focus on foundational grammatical accuracy, correct subject-verb agreement, and better control over complex sentence patterns.

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