Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, in the many countries people are now living longer than ever before, some people says that old age people create s problems for governments and in the society other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

First, one important important reason is that some people think that in oue society in the population of longer people creates problems for governments.As now the big age people has not work social and he took eat in the government eat and place for leave because the governments think about young people furture so this is main problem in the medidian and health care issue are avaiable in the age so the govetrnments low project in these of the thing therefore the has plce for the older people to live his name is old home where old people has living his live and stay there but it is very affotable work because many young people are avaiable for this activity.

While the other hand some people in our society says that the many benefits in society has more elderly people.

In this topic the elderly people are safe and his family left to bad other thing which is bad in the life so people has very like older people for example the oldery people in the house has very happy in the children and make smile every family members therefore oldery people benefits of our society.

To conclude, i think oldery people has more benefits of our society and i wish that the old people has happy life in the society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response addresses the prompt minimally, attempting to discuss both the problems and benefits of an aging population. However, the position is not always clear and the ideas are heavily restricted, limited, and under-developed. For instance, the discussion regarding government spending, healthcare issues, and retirement homes (old home where old people has living his live) remains superficial and lacks adequate explanation or relevant examples. Similarly, the points regarding the benefits of elderly people in families are repetitive and lack depth, relying on vague statements such as the oldery people in the house has very happy in the children and make smile every family members. To move to a higher level, the writer needs to fully extend their ideas with clear supporting arguments and relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation evident in the text, as the writer attempts to divide the response into an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, using basic signposts like First, While the other hand, and To conclude. However, there is no clear overall progression, and the logical flow is frequently disrupted by poor referencing and inadequate cohesive devices. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal paragraph cohesion is weak. For example, transitions between ideas are abrupt, and pronouns (such as it, his, and they) are often misused or lack clear antecedents, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument smoothly. To improve, the writer must ensure that ideas logically build upon one another and that cohesive devices are used accurately and appropriately.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, employing high-frequency words and simple phrasing throughout the response. There are frequent errors in word choice, word form, collocation, and spelling that significantly strain the reader and impede clear communication. Examples include expressions like older people create s problems, longer people, big age people, medidian, and affotable. The writer attempts some less common items, but these are handled inaccurately, such as old home instead of nursing home or care facility. To achieve a higher score, the student must develop a much wider and more precise range of vocabulary and pay closer attention to standard collocations and correct word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The grammatical range is very limited, relying primarily on simple sentence structures, many of which are heavily flawed. Attempts at more complex sentences are consistently faulty, resulting in frequent errors that distort meaning and cause significant difficulty for the reader. There are persistent problems with subject-verb agreement (e.g., people says, old people has), tense consistency, missing or incorrect articles, prepositions, and plural forms. For instance, sentences like As now the big age people has not work social and he took eat in the government eat demonstrate a breakdown in basic syntactic control. To progress, the writer needs to demonstrate control over a wider variety of grammatical structures and reduce the density of basic grammatical errors.

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