Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this contemporary world, people live longer than in the past in many nations. Some people contend that they create many issues for governments, while others disagree with this viewpoint and they believe that it is benefical for having increased number of old people in society. I agree with the latter view, and I strongly believe the advantages are way more than the drawbacks for raising of ageing of individuals.

To begin with, it is clearly observe that, growth of elderly people brings some issues to our society. This is because, the increased demand for employment or a pension for living, but the support from governments is limited. For example, a person who live over 65 would refuse to retire, because he still needs the job to compete basic living standard, however his stgrength and ability are not adequate to serve as before. In addition, they can also take jobs from youth. Therefore, they are fragile to working, which is unsafe.

On the other hand, even with these countless drawbacks, active older people are benefical for both families and society. They could stay away from the employment that is highlly physically demanding. Instead, they could help young couples to take care of their grandchildren. Of course, they are welcome to share experiences in work environment.

For instance, they can spend a day in a week as a salesman in grocery stores. As a result, these activites keep them active and happy and connected with others, which is crucial for their retirement lives.

In conclusion, although problems of having old individuals still exist, I strongly believe that they deserve a wise plan to help them to contribute their experiences, and they would be happy to be needed for work.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt and presents a clear position regarding the advantages of an aging population outweighing the disadvantages. However, the ideas remain somewhat limited and under-developed. For instance, the paragraph addressing the disadvantages mentions that older people might refuse to retire and take jobs from the youth, but this point lacks sufficient extension or specific real-world context. Similarly, the advantages are discussed in broad terms, such as helping young couples or working part-time in grocery stores, but these points are not fully explored to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the societal impacts. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to extend and support all main ideas with more thorough explanations and relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay displays some overall organization with a clear introduction and conclusion, and basic paragraphing is attempted. However, there is a lack of clear overall progression across the text, and transitions between paragraphs feel abrupt. Cohesive devices are sometimes inaccurate or repetitive, such as the frequent reliance on simple connectors like 'To begin with' and 'On the other hand'. Additionally, referencing can be unclear; for example, in the second paragraph, the pronoun 'they' is used ambiguously between 'governments', 'elderly people', and 'a person'. To improve, the writer should ensure smoother logical transitions between sentences and paragraphs, and employ a wider, more accurate range of cohesive devices to guide the reader seamlessly through the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate to convey the basic meaning of the arguments. There are noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and collocation that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, such as writing 'benefical' instead of beneficial, 'ageing of individuals' instead of an aging population, and 'compete basic living standard' instead of compete for or afford a basic living standard. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, but inaccurate usage restricts the precision of the response. To progress, the student must expand their lexical range, pay closer attention to correct word forms, and ensure that collocations are used naturally and accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The essay utilizes a limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and basic complex forms. When the writer attempts more complex structures, errors frequently occur, such as in the phrase 'it is clearly observe that' where verb forms do not agree, or 'a person who live over 65 would refuse' where subject-verb agreement is missed. Frequent errors in verb tenses, prepositions, and articles are present throughout the text. While these issues rarely completely impede overall communication, they cause noticeable distraction and difficulty for the reader. To achieve a higher band, the writer must demonstrate better control over a wider variety of complex grammatical structures and reduce the frequency of basic grammatical errors.

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