Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many countries, people are living longer than ever before, Although aging population creates problems for government, but i believe that there are several benefits having elderly people in the society.

One major advantage of having elderly people is the life experience and knowledge that they offer to others. Elderly people have more life experience than others, in all aspects of the society. For example, elderly people give advice to young peoples in all aspects, such as relationships, honesty, and being loyal with family and friends.

Moreover, elderly people have more knowledge in real life and are more confident in all areas of the life. So, having elderly people is very essential for society.

On the other hand, having elderly people create problems for society as well as for government, they create pressure on the government. Moreover, aged people required more health attention, as compared to the other patience. So government should spend more money on health finances, and more money reduired to maintain the hospital services, as well as it required more equipments for the elderly patients. Necessary and modern eqipments is vital for maintaining health of the aged people.

In conclusion, Although elderly people create the pressure on government and

society and making difficulties for the government but i believe that it advantages outweigh the disadvantages. In addition, elderly people are crucial for giving life experience to young adults. That's why having elderly people in society exerts a positive effect on the society, as well as on the individual's life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the task partially, presenting both advantages and disadvantages of an aging population along with a clear personal stance in the introduction and conclusion. However, the development of ideas remains limited and under-developed. For instance, the discussion on the advantages relies heavily on repetitive assertions that elderly people offer life experience and advice, such as stating that 'elderly people give advice to young peoples in all aspects, such as relationships, honesty, and being loyal with family and friends,' without exploring deeper societal implications like wisdom in the workforce or cultural preservation. Similarly, the disadvantages focus primarily on healthcare costs and equipment without fully expanding on how this impacts broader economic structures. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to extend and support all main points with more thorough explanations and specific examples rather than circling back to the same general concepts.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is some overall organisation evident through the use of standard paragraph breaks separating the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the progression of ideas lacks clear overall continuity, and cohesive devices are sometimes inadequate, inaccurate, or overused. For example, the essay relies excessively on transitional markers like 'Moreover' to link consecutive sentences and paragraphs, rather than using sophisticated referencing or substitution. Furthermore, sentence-level cohesion is disrupted by run-on structures and comma splices, such as in the opening sentence where a comma error awkwardly joins independent clauses ('people are living longer than ever before, Although aging population...'). To improve cohesion, the writer should employ a wider variety of transitional devices naturally and ensure that each paragraph builds logically upon the previous one without mechanical repetition.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The lexical range demonstrated is limited but minimally adequate to communicate the basic arguments of the essay. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'society,' 'health finances,' and 'modern equipments,' but these attempts are accompanied by noticeable errors in word form, collocation, and spelling. For instance, the plural form 'equipments' is incorrectly used, 'young peoples' contains an erroneous pluralization, and spelling errors like 'reduired' appear in the text. Additionally, vocabulary choices are often repetitive, with words like 'elderly people,' 'society,' and 'government' recurring frequently throughout the response. To progress to a higher band, the writer must expand their vocabulary range, use precise word forms and collocations consistently, and avoid spelling mistakes that draw the reader's attention away from the content.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer employs a limited range of grammatical structures, relying primarily on simple sentences alongside poorly controlled attempts at complex forms. Frequent errors are present across various structures, including article misuse, subject-verb agreement, and punctuation. For example, missing or incorrect articles are evident in phrases like 'aging population creates problems for government,' and the pronoun 'i' is repeatedly left lowercase. Furthermore, complex sentences often become faulty, such as the concession 'In conclusion, Although elderly people create the pressure on government and society and making difficulties for the government but i believe that it advantages outweigh the disadvantages,' which contains a double conjunction error and incorrect pronoun reference ('it advantages'). These frequent grammatical and punctuation errors require the reader to occasionally exert effort to parse the intended meaning. To elevate performance, the writer needs to produce a greater variety of error-free complex sentences and exercise tighter control over basic agreement and punctuation rules.

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