Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-01
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Nowadays, in many nations life expectancy of people has increased than before many people think having more senior citizens creates problems for authorities. While, others think there are benefits of having more elderly people in the society. There are many benefits of this trend as older people bring more experience and provide guidance; however, i firmly believe the demerits outweigh the advantages due to the requirement of more medical staff and results financial burden on the state.
On the one hand, There are various benefits of having senior citizens in the society. People living longer will experience more things in their life. They can pass that experience through the upcomming generation making them aware of the consequences of the actions. Consequently, the younger generation can use that in their life and avoid mistakes or can fix the mistakes easily. Furthermore, senior citizens provide guidance to the new generations by showing them the right path to choose. For instance, a recent study suggests individuals that are guided by their elders tend to make better decisions throughout their life.
On the other hand, Few drawbacks can be also identified of having a increased number aged people. A huge number of ageing population refers to people with more illness. To take care of the elderly government needs to recruit more medical staff. Similarly, More money is required to be spent on advanced medical equipments to care of them. Therefore other sectors of the society do not get sufficient funds. For example, Syberia has a high number of elder citizens which restrains them from investing in other sectors expect medical equipmets.
In conclusion, aged people play a crucial role in the society by providing guidance. However, in my opinion the disadvantages outweigh the advantages as it requires more medical personel and financial attention.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the prompt, presenting both the benefits and drawbacks of an aging population and taking a clear position in the introduction and conclusion. For example, you highlight advantages such as experience and guidance, while arguing that disadvantages like increased medical needs outweigh them. However, some ideas are under-developed rather than fully extended. The body paragraph regarding the benefits touches upon passing down experience, but the explanation remains somewhat general. Similarly, the discussion on the drawbacks mentions the need for medical staff and equipment, but could be pushed further with more specific reasoning to reach a higher level of development.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear, logical progression throughout. You successfully divide the response into appropriate paragraphs, utilizing standard cohesive phrases such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' to signal the direction of your argument. Referencing and cohesive devices are generally used effectively, such as 'They can pass that experience through the upcomming generation'. While cohesion is sometimes a bit mechanical—such as the repeated reliance on transitional phrases at the start of sentences—the structure remains easy to follow. To reach the next level, cohesive devices could be integrated more flexibly and unobtrusively without relying on formulaic transitions.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
Your vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing you to communicate your main points about an aging society. You attempt less common vocabulary items, such as 'life expectancy', 'financial burden', and 'senior citizens'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word-choice errors that occasionally impact precision, such as 'upcomming' instead of upcoming, 'Syberia' instead of Siberia, and 'expect' instead of except. Additionally, collocations like 'results financial burden' (instead of 'results in a financial burden') and 'increased number aged people' show limitations in control over less common lexical items, keeping your vocabulary score at this level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating clauses with 'while', 'as', and conditional ideas. However, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that persist throughout the text. These include capitalization issues ('i firmly believe'), missing prepositions or articles ('results financial burden on the state', 'to care of them'), and incorrect verb forms ('has a increased number'). Although these errors rarely impede overall communication, the presence of frequent grammatical slips prevents the response from achieving a higher band. To improve, focus on careful proofreading of basic article usage, verb complementation, and punctuation.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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