Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

For many countries,ageing population is a concerning issue,although others think that it has some advantages .In many developed and developing countries a sunstantial amount of efforts and resources are allocated to reducing the problems which is created because of elder population as it requires various resources such as research, training, financial ablity.Nevertheless, I firmly agree that the merits of having an ageing population outweigh the demerits.

Naturally, older people are essential for a society in various purposes. Firstly, older people have more experience than young people. By using their experience, they can contribute to solving social issues such as child marrige, poverty, and illiteracy and so many issues.For example, in our country many poeple get retired after 60,so in their lesiure time they can involve themselves serveral social activities like provide free education to poor people. Besides, they provide moral support to their family.Many working parents can go their office because they can keep their child at grandparents house.By the guidance and care of grandparents, young children enjoy their childhood in a safe and secure enviroment

On the other hand, the government faces a wide range of challenges because of old people. For instance ,in our country, most of the old age home run by the government the old people . That is why there need ample investment. Moreover, the government has to provide elder people unparalleled facalities such as medical, recreation, and accommodation etc., which requires a sufficient amount of money

To conclude, I think that although the government faces financial challenges due to older people, old people can contribute positively in society.Therfore, the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear position regarding whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Relevant ideas are introduced, such as the social contributions of older people through accumulated experience and childcare support, as well as the financial burdens placed on governments. However, some ideas are developed unevenly. For instance, the points about addressing social issues like child marriage and poverty remain somewhat generalised and lack specific, well-contextualised examples. To reach a higher level, the ideas need more thorough extension and deeper explanation to fully substantiate your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and conclusion, demonstrating a logical progression through distinct body paragraphs dedicated to advantages and disadvantages respectively. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Firstly', 'Besides', 'On the other hand', and 'To conclude'. However, referencing and cohesion can occasionally feel mechanical or slightly repetitive, and paragraph internal transitions could be smoother. To achieve a higher standard, you should aim for more sophisticated and varied referencing while ensuring that sentences flow together naturally without over-relying on basic connectors.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate to communicate your main points, showing attempts at less common lexical items such as 'allocated', 'unparalleled', and 'ample investment'. However, there are notable instances of word choice, spelling, and collocation errors, such as 'sunstantial' instead of 'substantial', 'ablity', 'lesiure', and 'serveral'. Phrases like 'run by the the old people' also reveal awkward phrasing and interference. To improve this area, you need to expand your control of less common vocabulary and improve spelling accuracy and lexical precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with attempts at subordinate clauses such as 'although others think that it has some advantages'. There are several grammatical errors throughout the text, including article omissions and misuse, incorrect prepositions, and structural awkwardness like 'go their office because they can keep their child at grandparents house' and 'there need ample investment'. Fortunately, these errors rarely impede overall communication. To move to a higher band, you need to produce a greater proportion of error-free complex sentences and exercise tighter control over punctuation and prepositions.

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