Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-01
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In most countries now people are living longer than they did in the past. Some say elderly can cause problems for governments while others may say they can benefit society.
Firstly, aging is not a disease that may threaten people or governments. All the people in the world grow old it is a natural phenomena. Aging can not be turned another way round. Some may argue that growing population of old people can create problems. Yes, it might to some extent. However, these are not the problems that governments can not deal with and arguably are not enough to snatch human rights from humans, no matter what their age is.
Secondly, in view of others these elderly can benefit the society. Ofcourse they can through their life experiences, the stories they pass on to their children or grand children about what they went through to achieve certain things in life. Furthermore, the societies are changing people they don't get together anymore for occasions like they did in the past. They can motivate young generation to learn and live better than they did. Many movies and stories today are based on the stories that are passed down to us by these old people.
In conclusion, the elderly people can cause problems but they are not life threatening or unsolveable. The drawbacks resulting from this aging problem are comparatively much less than the benefits these elderly people have to offer to the younger generation. Thus, in my opinion advantages of having an aging population outweigh its disadvantages to society.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses the task partially, touching upon both problems and benefits of an aging population. However, the ideas are somewhat limited and under-developed. For instance, the discussion on how elderly people benefit society focuses narrowly on storytelling and life experiences without exploring broader socioeconomic impacts like healthcare costs, pension burdens, or the wisdom transferred to the workforce. A clear position is expressed in the conclusion that advantages outweigh disadvantages, but the supporting arguments throughout the body paragraphs lack depth and extension. To move to a higher band, you need to fully develop your ideas with more detailed explanations and relevant examples.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
There is some organisation to the response, with basic introductory and concluding paragraphs and transition words like 'Firstly' and 'Secondly'. However, there is a lack of clear overall progression between the ideas. Cohesive devices are sometimes used mechanically or inaccurately, such as 'in view of others these elderly can benefit the society', which creates awkward transitions. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion within paragraphs is repetitive and lacks smooth referencing. To improve, you should ensure that each sentence flows logically into the next and that referencing pronouns like 'they' and 'these' clearly point to their intended antecedents.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate to convey the basic message. There are noticeable lexical errors and awkward collocations that cause some difficulty for the reader, such as 'natural phenomena' (should be a natural phenomenon), 'growing population' (instead of aging population), and 'unsolveable' (spelling). You attempt some less common vocabulary, but word choices lack precision. To achieve a higher score, you need to expand your lexical range, use less common items more naturally, pay close attention to word formation and spelling, and ensure appropriate collocations for academic writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response demonstrates a very limited range of structures, relying mostly on simple sentences alongside a few faulty attempts at complex ones. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement, articles, and punctuation. Examples include 'Some say elderly can cause problems' (missing article/noun), 'it is a natural phenomena' (plural/singular mismatch), and 'Aging can not be turned another way round' (awkward prepositional pattern). Punctuation errors also appear, such as run-on thoughts and missing commas. To progress, you must incorporate a wider mix of complex sentence forms while maintaining tighter control over basic grammatical accuracy.
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