Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In today's fast-moving world, technology has improved many aspects of life. It is often argued that older people are now living longer than ever before. However, I believe that this is better for our younger generation. In this essay, we will discuss both points of view.

On the one hand, technology indeed improves our way of living. Nowadays, there is a medicine for every of the diease. Firstly, through this, people live longer, and they can completely recover from the disease. It is a positive feedback overall, and by using medicine, people live longer, and they live a healthy life . Moreover, there is a treatment available for every kind of age group. According to the recent survey, even young individuals get more diseases than older people

Secondly, people also believe that, through disease, older people live a longer life, but this is a useless thought that comes in people live a person can spend only the time there in earth, which is written by God, not by doctors or medicine. Yet there are so many advantages to older people living longer. It benefits our young people because they spend their time with their grandparents or with older people, and they do not fall into bad activities, while other people believe that older peoples are not have any benefit; they just increase your budget, and you will also waste your money on their medicine and treatment.

In conclusion, older people provide a better environment for the younger generation, and they raise them in a better way; also, they make them mature, and they make their own decisions, and they also make a wise difference between negative and positive arguments.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response addresses the prompt only partially, which keeps it at a lower band level. While the writer touches on the general theme of an aging population, the position is not always clear or sustained throughout the essay. Some ideas presented are limited and under-developed, particularly when discussing medical advancements and the notion of destiny. The prompt asks to what extent the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, but the analysis tends to drift into general statements about healthcare and familial relationships rather than explicitly weighing the overall socio-economic pros and cons of an aging society. To progress further, the response would need to directly address the core of the prompt with fully developed, extended arguments and a consistent, well-reasoned standpoint throughout every paragraph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The organization of the essay displays some basic structure, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but it lacks clear overall progression and logical flow. While some cohesive devices are attempted, such as 'On the one hand' and 'In conclusion', they are often used inaccurately or mechanically, leading to a disjointed reading experience. Paragraphing is attempted, but the main body paragraph contains multiple disparate ideas lumped together rather than focusing on distinct points. Referencing is also unclear at times, making it difficult to follow the precise relationships between sentences. Achieving higher coherence would require logical sequencing of ideas, smoother transitions between paragraphs, and more precise, varied cohesive markers that guide the reader naturally through the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is relatively limited and repetitive, reflecting a basic range that is only minimally adequate for the task. Words such as 'medicine', 'disease', and 'people' are recycled frequently throughout the text. There are noticeable lexical errors, such as 'every of the diease' and 'older peoples are not have any benefit', which cause some difficulty for the reader and strain communication. Furthermore, spelling slips like 'diease' detract from the overall quality. To move up to a higher band, the writer must expand their lexical range by incorporating less common vocabulary items with greater precision, demonstrating better awareness of word formation, collocation, and accurate spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The grammatical structure of the essay shows a limited range, relying heavily on simple sentences and occasional attempts at complex structures that are frequently faulty. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the response, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('older peoples are not have'), article usage, and prepositions inside grammatical patterns. These frequent errors often cause difficulty for the reader and obscure the intended meaning. To improve this criterion, the writer needs to demonstrate a better mix of simple and complex sentence forms while significantly reducing the frequency of basic grammatical errors by exercising greater control over verb tenses, plurals, and sentence construction.

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