Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In many countries, nowadays people are now living longer than ever before. Few resident say an aging population produces significant problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly grandparents. I agree with that there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

An aging population creates problem of governments but having an aging population there are more benefits. Governments has facing a problem with elderly people with the significant increasing numbers of population. It has a lack of proper guidence and sanitation.Government has a challanges with thes problems.They should manage these problems with an easy way.

I think aging population creates problem but there are more advantages if community has much more elderly person. Elderly people have a knowledge of ancient period and they know everything that we do not know.Elderly people gave more advice than we think and it really works, While we have a grandparents, we feel very happy and society also need a elderly people. They know about how to handle the society and how can we build a good community. They teach us how to handle the situation. They teach more than teachers.

In conclusion, I go with the benefits if society has more elderly people, instead of an aging population creates problems for governments. Government has to face many problems about this topic but in fact I agree with the benefits of having a old generation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response addresses the task only partially and presents a position that is somewhat repetitive and underdeveloped. While you do state your opinion that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, the ideas provided to support this are very limited. For example, you mention that elderly people possess knowledge of ancient periods and give advice, but these points are not sufficiently extended or supported with clear examples. Additionally, it must be noted that the length requirement is not met, as the essay falls short of the two hundred and fifty-word minimum, which restricts your ability to fully explore the prompt. To reach a higher level, you need to ensure you meet the minimum word count and develop your main ideas much more thoroughly with well-explained arguments and specific examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some organisation evident in your response, with clear paragraph breaks separating your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, there is no clear overall progression of ideas, and the essay feels somewhat disjointed. Cohesive devices are frequently inadequate, inaccurate, or repetitive, such as the frequent reliance on simple phrases like 'Elderly people' and 'They' to start consecutive sentences. Paragraphing is used, but the internal flow of ideas lacks smooth transitions. To improve in this area, you should work on connecting your sentences and paragraphs more naturally using a wider variety of cohesive devices, such as 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'on the other hand', to establish a clear logical progression throughout the essay.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary range is limited and minimally adequate for the task. You attempt some relevant terms such as 'aging population', 'government', and 'community', but there are noticeable errors in word choice, collocation, and word form that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. For instance, phrases like 'Few resident say', 'creates problem of governments', and 'ancient period' demonstrate unnatural collocations or inaccurate word forms. Furthermore, there is a lack of less common lexical items. To move up to a higher band, you should aim to expand your vocabulary by learning more precise academic collocations, ensuring correct word forms such as noun and adjective agreement, and using a wider variety of synonyms to express your ideas clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You demonstrate a limited range of grammatical structures, relying primarily on simple sentences alongside basic attempts at complex ones that are frequently faulty. There are numerous grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, plurals, and prepositions, such as 'Governments has facing a problem', 'a lack of proper guidence', and 'community has much more elderly person'. These frequent errors can cause some difficulty for the reader in following your meaning. To improve your grammatical score, you should focus on increasing your control over basic sentence structures, ensuring correct verb forms, and mastering the use of articles and pluralisation. Practising complex sentence patterns with fewer errors will also help lift your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.