Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In many countries, advances in healthcare and improved living standards have enable people to live longer than in the past. Although an ageing population provide valuable experience and family support, it can also increase healthcare cost and create preasure on pension system and the labour market. I believe that these disadvantages outweigh advantage because they can hold considerable financial preasure on governments.

On the one hand, an ageing population can benefit society because older people possess valuable knowledge and life experience. They can share their expertise with younger genereatons and provide guidance in both personal and professional situations. For example, experienced employees can mentor younger colleagues, helping them develop practical skills and improve their performance at work. Furthermore, elderly people can provide valuable support to their families and communities. Many grandparent help with childcare and household responsibilities, allowing parents to pursue their careers.

On the other hand, an older individuals can create significant monetary preasure on governments because they generally require more healthcare and long-term care. Governments may therefore need to spend more on hospitals, medicines, nursing facilities and other healthcare services. Moreover, a growing number of elderly people may create considerable preasure on pension system and labour market. As more people retire, fewer working-age adults may be able to pay taxes and replace experiences employees. This can result in shortage of labour and slower economic growth.

In conclusion, an ageing population offers advantages such as familial support and hands-on experience. However, it can also creates disadvantages, including higher medical expenditure and preasure on pensions and greater competition for jobs. I believe these disadvantages outweigh the advantages because they can place substential burden on financial and economical strains on governments.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population, and you present a clear position throughout that the disadvantages outweigh the benefits. Your ideas are relevant and generally well-developed, particularly when explaining the economic and care burdens on governments, such as when you note that 'Governments may therefore need to spend more on hospitals, medicines, nursing facilities'. However, some ideas remain slightly under-developed; for example, the discussion surrounding family support and childcare could be extended further to fully explore how this impacts society. To reach a higher band, ensure that every main idea is fully elaborated with deeper explanations and more specific supporting details rather than generalized statements.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

Your essay has a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression from your introduction through your body paragraphs to your conclusion. You make use of standard cohesive devices to guide the reader, such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, with each main point housed in its own distinct section. However, cohesion at times feels a little mechanical due to a reliance on basic transition markers, and referencing can occasionally be slightly repetitive. To move towards a higher band, try to integrate more subtle and varied cohesive devices and ensure that referencing within and across sentences flows more naturally without overly predictable signposting.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items related to the topic, such as 'healthcare', 'long-term care', 'working-age adults', and 'economic growth'. However, there are notable word choice, spelling, and word form errors throughout your writing, such as spelling 'enable' instead of 'enables', 'provide' instead of 'provides', 'preasure' instead of 'pressure', 'genereatons' instead of 'generations', and 'substential' instead of 'substantial'. Additionally, phrases like 'hold considerable financial preasure' contain minor collocation inaccuracies. These errors do not impede communication, but they prevent you from achieving a higher band. To improve, focus on accuracy in spelling and collocations when attempting more sophisticated vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures such as conditional and concessive clauses effectively, as seen in sentences like 'Although an ageing population provide valuable experience and family support, it can also increase healthcare cost...'. There are some grammatical and punctuation errors present, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('an ageing population provide', 'an older individuals', 'it also creates disadvantages'), pluralization errors ('pension system' instead of 'pension systems'), and missing articles. Fortunately, these errors rarely impede communication and your overall meaning remains clear. To achieve a higher band, you need to increase your control over complex structures and eliminate basic agreement and article errors so that a greater proportion of your sentences are completely error-free.

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