Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this contemporary era, people now a days believe that life span of human beings are increasing. Therefore, more older individuals are seen in different countries, which is a unpleasing for some people. In my opinion, the advantages of having aging population outweigh the disadvantages.

Subsequently, some people believe that having more older individuals in society would have a negative impact of the economy. For instance, have older employee in a company will effect the productivity of the task, as they might take more time on each task than required. Moreover, their physical health could also be a factor, as they might take a day off more offen which will pull the profitability of the that organisation.

On the other hand, there are many positive aspects of having older people in society, as they might be very helpful in several ways. Such as, their presence can asist families is a fight as they are more experience and will give honest opinions. Moreover, they can also be very helpful for young parents by taking care of their grand children and educating them good and bad. This is a very crucial matter which is not consider important today, as the parents are so busy at their jobs for providing and fulfilling their kids desires that they do not get a chance to also educate their children. For this reason, older people play a very important role by guiding the youngsters.

Taking everything into consideration, I completely agree that the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages. They provide Their experience in decision making as well as help young parents, that how can they make the upcoming generation more educated.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task, presenting arguments for both the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population before clearly stating a position in the introduction and conclusion. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others. For example, the discussion on economic disadvantages mentions that older employees might take more time or frequent days off, but this point remains somewhat limited and lacks specific, well-developed examples. Similarly, the advantages regarding childcare and guidance are introduced but could be extended with deeper explanation. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to ensure that every main idea is thoroughly explored with fully supported explanations and relevant details.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear stance established early on. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different arguments, such as economic drawbacks in the second paragraph and societal benefits in the third. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or faulty. Transitional phrases like 'Subsequently' are used awkwardly to introduce a new paragraph, and referencing is occasionally unclear, such as 'pull the profitability of the that organisation' or 'in a fight'. Logical progression between sentences could also be smoother. To improve, the writer should use a wider variety of cohesive devices more naturally and ensure clear referencing links throughout the text.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common words and phrases such as 'contemporary era', 'productivity', and 'decision making'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors in word choice, collocation, and word formation that restrict the score. Examples include 'unpleasing' instead of unpleasant, 'have older employee' instead of having older employees, 'effect' instead of affect, 'offen' instead of often, 'asist' instead of assist, 'is a fight' instead of in life, and 'consider' instead of considered. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently. To achieve a higher band, the writer must expand their lexical repertoire and refine word forms and collocations for greater precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response displays a mix of simple and some complex sentence forms, attempting structures such as 'While' and relative clauses, though control is inconsistent. There are several grammatical errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and prepositions within grammatical patterns. Examples include 'people now a days believe that life span of human beings are increasing' (plural/singular agreement), 'have older employee... will effect', 'educating them good and bad', and 'that how can they make'. Punctuation is also occasionally problematic. These errors reflect a pattern where attempts at complex sentences lead to mistakes, though they rarely impede overall communication. To progress, the writer needs to increase grammatical accuracy across a wider variety of complex sentence structures.

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