Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

While some argue that aging population have certain benefits but I firmly believe that elderly population becomes a major crisis for the government because of labor shortage and burden on the government.

One of the main reasons to support my point is that those states who have more aging population frequently face labor shortage in the industry. This is because every year there is not an equal number of people to replace these elderly people when they retire. For instance if an industry have 500 workers before but when some of them retire due to increasing age they are unable to replace them with new workers due to unavailabity of young people. This trend has increasingly been observed in developed states like Japan and Italy where these worker shortages are fulfilled through immigrants from other countries. As a result, native population is continuously declining.

Another significant reason is the burden of pension and health services on the government. When there will be continuously rise in elderly people, the state will have to take care of them through different social services. As a result, each year state has to spend millions of rupees to just take care of them.

Some people contend that and elderly population can be useful in terms of their experience and their role in building society. However, if this trend of elderly population continued there will not be people available to perform the basic functions of state.

In conclusion, the government should take measures to address the issue of rising elderly people in population otherwise the economy of state might collapse in following years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by presenting a clear position that the disadvantages of an aging population outweigh the benefits. Key aspects of the prompt, such as the labor shortage and government burden, are discussed, fulfilling the criteria for a well-rounded outline. However, some ideas remain under-developed. For instance, the point regarding the burden of pensions and health services is introduced with broad general statements without concrete examples to support how millions of rupees are spent. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to fully extend and support all arguments with specific details or examples, similar to the effective reference made to Japan and Italy in the second body paragraph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear progression from introduction to body paragraphs and a concluding summary. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, separating distinct arguments such as labor shortages and financial burdens into individual paragraphs. Cohesive devices are employed, such as 'One of the main reasons', 'Another significant reason', and 'In conclusion', to guide the reader through the text. However, cohesion sometimes feels mechanical or repetitive, and referencing can occasionally lack clarity. To move towards the higher band, the writer should employ a wider and more flexible variety of cohesive devices rather than relying on standard formulaic transitions, ensuring smoother links between sentences and ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully communicating central ideas about aging populations and economic challenges. There are conscious attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'unavailability', 'continuously declining', and 'economy of state'. However, noticeable errors in word choice, form, and collocation appear throughout the text, such as writing 'aging population have' instead of 'an aging population has', and using 'millions of rupees' which may not fit every context universally. Additionally, minor phrasing issues like 'unavailabity' demonstrate occasional spelling and precision flaws. These errors do not impede communication, but to achieve a higher score, the writer must exercise greater accuracy in word choice and expand control over less common lexical items.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures like conditional clauses and relative pronouns effectively in places. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, but they rarely impede communication. Examples include missing articles or pluralization issues, such as 'if an industry have' instead of 'has', 'due to unavailabity', and 'when there will be continuously rise' instead of a continuous rise. Complex sentence attempts occasionally contain structural slips, such as the awkward phrasing in the opening sentence ('While some argue that aging population have certain benefits but I firmly believe...'). To attain a higher band, the writer needs to increase the frequency of error-free complex sentences and maintain tighter control over subject-verb agreement and article usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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