Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In many countries nowadays the figure of eldery people increased than in the past. Many people believe that an afing population creates problems for Government, while other thinks that to have older people is like a blessing. I believe that benefits are more than drawbacks.

The first benefit to have older people is moral values. To elaborate, older people have moral values and it can be a benefit for upcoming generation because through older ones new generation can learn about moral values. Furthermore,we can get knowledge about history. To explain, older people can be a benefit to know about history because they have enough knowledge about the history like how our past was. As a result it can be a benefit for us because they have life experience which can help us to make decision.

Another benefit is older people are suportive. To elaborate, for a working women older people can be supportive for them.For instance, grandparents can look after children while their parents are working, which can reduce childcare costs and allow parents to concentrate on their jobs. Furthermore, many healthy elderly people can participate in voluntary work or part-time employment, allowing them to continue contributing to their communities.

In conclusion, an ageing population can increase government spending on pensions, healthcare and other public services. However, elderly people also have valuable experience and can provide important support to families and communities. Therefore, I believe that the benefits of an ageing population can outweigh its disadvantages if governments make suitable plans for the future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You successfully address all parts of the task and present a clear position throughout the response, concluding that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Relevant ideas are presented, such as the transmission of moral values, historical knowledge, and practical support with childcare and employment. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others. For instance, the points regarding moral values and history are repetitive and somewhat under-developed with circular reasoning, whereas the supporting points about working women and childcare are extended more effectively with clear examples. To reach a higher level, every main idea needs to be thoroughly extended and supported with deep, non-repetitive elaboration.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

Your essay has a coherent overall arrangement and a clear logical progression from the introduction through the body paragraphs to the conclusion. You use paragraphing sufficiently and appropriately, dedicating distinct paragraphs to separate benefits and the opposing viewpoint. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. You rely heavily on repetitive transitional phrases such as "To elaborate," "To explain," and "Furthermore" to connect your thoughts, and referencing is occasionally unclear. To improve further, you should employ a wider and more natural variety of cohesive devices and ensure that referencing words link ideas smoothly without sounding mechanical.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task and successfully attempt less common vocabulary, such as "voluntary work," "part-time employment," and "childcare costs." However, there are noticeable spelling and word-choice errors that reflect limitations in your lexical control, such as "figure" instead of "number" or "proportion," "eldery" and "afing" instead of elderly and ageing, and "suportive" instead of supportive. While these errors do not seriously impede communication, they prevent you from achieving a higher score. To improve, you need to expand your control of word forms, collocations, and accurate spelling of common academic vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms throughout your essay, attempting complex structures such as conditional and subordinate clauses in sentences like "grandparents can look after children while their parents are working." There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, including subject-verb agreement issues ("the figure... increased than in the past," "older people are suportive... older people can be supportive for them") and article omissions. Fortunately, these errors rarely impede communication. To move up to a higher band, you must demonstrate a greater variety of error-free complex structures with tighter control over grammatical patterns and agreement.

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