Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

nowadays, few individuals are worried about the issues reaised by the older people to policymakers. whileothers believe that it is beneficial to have aging opulation in the society. i completely agree that adavantages of older people outweigh the disadvantages, as discussed in further paragraphs.

to initiate with benefits, older people are the best teacher and guider for the younger generation. to explain it, older people have more exprienced throughout their life, which they learned during bad and good times.

for instance, older people can provide better knowledge about dealing with problems in personal and professional life. consequently, they act as a teacher in the life of younger generations. thus, aged citizen are a kind of role model.

moreover, elder people provide safety and security to the family. to elaborate, nowadays mean and women both are working. they donot have enough time to take care of their home everytime, due to hectic schedules. they are busy in office work such an attending meetings, seminars and long working hours. therefore, older people at home stays always at home and take care of their homes and provide safety and seurity to their property.

on the other hand, aging population creates problem to the government. this may men that government incur expences of iolder people in form of providing medical facilities and paying pensions for their survival, thus, it increass the financial burden on the government.

to sum up, although some extra expenses incurred on aging population. however they are best teacher, role model and a kind of safety and security to the younger ones.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your response addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear position throughout, stating that you completely agree the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. You present relevant ideas such as older people acting as teachers and providing family security, as well as acknowledging the disadvantage of government financial burdens. However, some of these ideas are under-developed or repetitive. For instance, the point about being a teacher is somewhat generalised and lacks deep expansion. To reach a higher level, you should extend your supporting arguments with more thorough explanations and fully flesh out the comparison between the pros and cons rather than relying on brief supporting points.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

Your essay has a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, showing an attempt to logically sequence your ideas. You use basic cohesive devices to connect your thoughts, such as 'to initiate with', 'moreover', and 'on the other hand'. However, the cohesion can feel a bit mechanical and repetitive, and some referencing is not always clear, such as 'they donot have enough time' where the pronoun reference is slightly loose. To improve, you need to use a wider range of cohesive devices more naturally and ensure that your paragraphing and transitions guide the reader seamlessly from one argument to the next without feeling formulaic.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common words and phrases such as 'policymakers', 'hectic schedules', and 'financial burden'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout your text, including 'reaised' instead of raised, 'opulation' instead of population, 'adavantages' instead of advantages, and 'expences' instead of expenses. Furthermore, some phrasing is unnatural, such as 'older people at home stays always at home'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they restrict your score. To achieve a higher band, you must increase your control over less common lexical items, ensure correct word forms, and eliminate basic spelling mistakes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting complex structures like relative clauses and conditional-style reasoning. There are some grammar and punctuation errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('aged citizen are', 'older people... stays'), missing capitalization at the beginning of sentences and with the pronoun 'i', and punctuation flaws. However, these errors rarely impede communication and the meaning remains generally clear. To improve your grammar score, you should work on consistent subject-verb agreement, proper capitalization, and reducing minor structural slips while incorporating a wider variety of error-free complex sentences.

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