Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The life span duration in many countries have been increased. Few people refers this as an alarming situation for the state while other regards elder's significant contribution in community. In this essay, I will discuss the both significance and problems of increased life span.

The medical advancements and healthcare practices have positively influence the increasing life span duration of elders that are considered as the pillar of community. The elders could transfer thier traditional and moral values to the next generation. In the era of social media where everything is on a click and life is at fast pace, the youth mainly Gen-z and Gen-alpha has forgotten the basic human decency and ettiquate. Parents are busy in earning bread and butter and less attention is given in moral upbringing of children. The youth has normalized the misbheving as a new cool. We need elders that help youth to learn thier basic tradition and moral values for prosperous society.

On the other hand, at the state level which is dealing with the affairs of senior citizen mainly finances, insuarances and old age homes this could be disadvantaheous. In many contries, children start living seperately from parents which in results put thier responsibility on state. The government has to pay thier social benefits mainly including medical, transport, accomodation and living allowances. Which in result put stress on financial matters of state.

In coclusion, advantages of having aging people outweights the disadavanteges because finances can be managed but moral values cannot be compromised.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the task, presenting both the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population, and clearly states an overall position that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. However, some ideas are more fully developed than others, which is characteristic of the mid-level score achieved here. For instance, the discussion on the transmission of moral values is quite engaging, but the counter-argument regarding state-level finances and elderly care could have been extended with more specific examples. The writer successfully covers the prompt's core requirements, yet misses the full extension needed for higher bands, as certain points lean towards over-generalisation without deeply exploring the socioeconomic impacts.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, showing that the writer can sequence thoughts logically. Paragraphing is utilised appropriately to separate the contrasting viewpoints. However, cohesion at times feels mechanical or slightly faulty, relying on basic transitions like 'On the other hand' and repetitive use of phrases like 'Which in result'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the pronoun use in sentences like 'Which in result put stress on financial matters of state.' To reach the next level, the writer needs to employ a wider and more flexible range of cohesive devices and ensure smoother progression between sentences without relying on repetitive structural patterns.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully conveying the writer's basic arguments with recognizable terms such as 'medical advancements', 'senior citizen', and 'moral values'. The student makes some attempts to use less common vocabulary, but this is accompanied by noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and word form. Examples include 'ettiquate' instead of etiquette, 'misbheving', 'insuarances', and 'coclusion'. These errors do not completely impede communication, allowing the reader to grasp the core meaning, but they restrict the lexical score because precision and accurate spelling are lacking. Improving mastery over word forms and less common collocations will be essential for lexical progression.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writing demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting relative clauses and conditional structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors in verb forms, agreement, and articles. Examples include 'The life span duration in many countries have been increased' (subject-verb agreement), 'other regards elder's significant contribution', and 'put thier responsibility on state' (missing articles and preposition errors). While these errors rarely completely impede communication, they are common enough to prevent the response from achieving higher accuracy bands. To improve, the writer needs better control over subject-verb concord, article usage, and prepositions within grammatical patterns.

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